Twitter Machine Tuesday

I love writing my Twitter Machine posts.  They're oftentimes unfiltered looks into my psyche.  I write "oftentimes" because a completely unfiltered look into my mind would both scare and offend most people.  I wish I could be unflinchingly honest, but I really can't without pissing off a lot of people.  And really I hold back not because I fear offending or angering others.  I just don't want to deal with it.

So my political correctness (what little of it I have) is 100% driven by selfishness.  At least I'm willing to admit that.  Most people are PC for the same reason, but they pass it off as caring about others which is total BS.  It's either that or a sense of superiority that manifests itself into trying to help every person that they sense is below them or their social class.

Anyway here is my only slightly filtered Twitter Machine:

-Here's an unpopular opinion: I like the Facebook update and have since it rolled out.
-Last I checked Zuckerberg hasn't charged anyone to use Facebook. If you don't like it don't use it.
-The irony of ironies of course is people complaining about the Facebook update ON FACEBOOK.
-Shaving with a brand new razor is right up there with a hot shower on the refreshing scale.
-The refreshing scale is a form of measurement I invented that runs from a low end sand in your pants to a high of full body massage.
-REM won't be around anymore making new music, and that makes me sad.
-I realized that outside of Dave Matthews, Zeppelin and Ben Folds I own more REM albums than any other artists.
-Personal favorite REM song: New Test Leper off of New Adventures in Hi-Fi
-We have a theme and almost have invitations for the girls first birthday. Baseball themed (in pink).  I win!
-Normally I'm not the type to clamor for stuff, but I hope to have an iPhone 5 before the end of the October.
-To avoid being called an Apple fanboy, I have had the same 3G iPhone for 2 years and don't run out for every release.
-Bath time is so much fun in our house. Grace loves splashing.  Ana loves playing with rubber duckies.
-Do you think Grover's agent complains to the Sesame Street writers about all the screen time he's lost to Elmo?
-You don't ask those type of questions until you have kids.
-I thought Robert California's analysis of Sesame Street and Elmo was dead-on. #theoffice
-Do you know why people stay in their careers? Because learning something new is a lot of work.
-I happen to enjoy the challenges that are in front of me and find myself invigorated by not knowing everything.
-I just want to watch the NBA, and it is looking more and more like it won't happen for a while.
-The NBA lockout just makes me hate everyone involved. How can no one involved see this?
-Sometimes I read blogs and think "This isn't that great" or "Why is he/she writing this?" or "Who is the audience on this?"
-I never ask those questions about this blog. So well-written, funny, honest, at times heartbreaking and faith reassuring.
-I've never understood the appeal of fishing. I get sitting around drinking, but why add disappointment of not catching anything to that?
-It's hard to accept that an album all about how much money two guys have sold so well #watchthethrone
-I love when my girls laugh. It's actually becoming more of a chortle at this point.
-By the way clapping, laughing and dadas from two babies is actually like 7 times more awesome than one.
-I'd say that the marriage of chocolate and peanut butter is the greatest of all time. Right ahead of Antony and Cleopatra.
-You know it's fall when Count Chocula is on the shelves. #bestcerealever
-I'm coming up on my 100th post. I don't think I can afford a giveaway. So you'll get nothing and like it.
-I'm thinking I'll do something special when I get to 138. Sort of like The Simpson's 138th Episode Spectacular.

If I did a giveaway, what would y'all want? Case of Dr. Pepper? Halloween candy? Something SF Giants related?  An iTunes gift card?  Oh wait that's what I'd want.  Giveaways are what the cool bloggers do, and you all know I've always wanted to be a cool blogger.  But I also don't want to do a giveaway solely to gain more readers because that is inherently lame.  I really should have thought about this before my 98th post.