Daddy Daughter Days

I know that I said these would be posted each Thursday, but it was a little bit hectic yesterday.  So you get my Thursday post to kick off your weekend instead.

It was hectic because my wife took an adventure to the Google headquarters.  It was for her job, so she actually had a business reason to go.  Although it is also her favorite company ever, so she was excited for the opportunity to go.  She did however agonize about it.  She knew that going there meant leaving on Wednesday night and possibly not seeing Grace and Ana all day on Thursday.  I think a small part of her was worried about my ability to take care of the girls, but a larger part was not spending any time with them.  She ended up going (and enjoyed it in spite of not seeing the girls).

She warned that the girls may wake up in the middle of the night and to move the monitor closer.  My secret shame: I sleep through them crying all the time.  I thought I would develop a radar for this sort of thing, but it hasn't happened.  I was a heavy sleeper before, and I'm still a heavy sleeper.  No changing that apparently.  So I turned the monitor up full blast and put in right next to my head.  Grace woke up just after midnight, but I gave her a pacifier and she fell right back asleep.  For the rest of the night.

They both were up at 6am and ready to play.  Seriously.  They were hungry, but more than anything they wanted to play and laugh.

Grace went on an adventure in the kitchen.  She and Ana did their normal routine of pulling out on the plastic ware in the cupboards.  Instead of playing with it on the floor, Grace wanted to delve deeper and see the inner workings of the cupboard.  This is how I caught her.

For lunch I gave the girls spaghetti.  If you've never watched a baby eat spaghetti, you are missing out big time.  Seriously one of the cutest things ever.

After lunch we played in the living room.  Erin bought them a little table that makes music noises and ABCs and counting.  The girls seem to really enjoy it.  They get to stand and play with it and each other, and it is much safer than them playing on the jumperoo.  The only problem is it shorts out and that causes the sounds to stop, but that hasn't kept them banging away on it.  You'll also notice that I don't have them in their normal Thursday attire (Giants gear).  Erin said that people would think I never clean their clothes if they're always in the same outfits, so I changed it up this week.

We went up the stairs again.  Grace has already gotten so much faster than just a few days ago.  Ana is still the reigning speed demon.  In fact she has started a new game to worry her dad.  She now turns around when she gets to the top of the stairs and tries to come back down.  Not quite yet Ana.  There of course are no picture of this yet because I'd feel like a pretty irresponsible dad if I whipped out my camera instead of making sure they didn't fall.

After stair climbing, we walked to the store to get Erin a card.  She was very upset that she didn't get to see them, so I bought her a card and wrote her a note from the girls.  I also went to Icing on the Cupcake and got a two-pack of deliciousness.  She seemed to like both, and she let me have one of the cupcakes.  Win-win.

I did bathtime by myself because Erin didn't get home until after their bedtime.  Erin was obviously happy to be home.  So happy that she wasn't listening when I said that I had given Grace some Baby Tylenol before bed since her teething has been bothering her.  Erin gave her another dose which freaked her out enough to call the advice nurse.  All was fine though.

Another wonderful Thursday with my girls.  Erin even got a Google t-shirt from the headquarters.  Have a great weekend!



The Dream Team



Twitter Machine Tuesday

I love writing my Twitter Machine posts.  They're oftentimes unfiltered looks into my psyche.  I write "oftentimes" because a completely unfiltered look into my mind would both scare and offend most people.  I wish I could be unflinchingly honest, but I really can't without pissing off a lot of people.  And really I hold back not because I fear offending or angering others.  I just don't want to deal with it.

So my political correctness (what little of it I have) is 100% driven by selfishness.  At least I'm willing to admit that.  Most people are PC for the same reason, but they pass it off as caring about others which is total BS.  It's either that or a sense of superiority that manifests itself into trying to help every person that they sense is below them or their social class.

Anyway here is my only slightly filtered Twitter Machine:

-Here's an unpopular opinion: I like the Facebook update and have since it rolled out.
-Last I checked Zuckerberg hasn't charged anyone to use Facebook. If you don't like it don't use it.
-The irony of ironies of course is people complaining about the Facebook update ON FACEBOOK.
-Shaving with a brand new razor is right up there with a hot shower on the refreshing scale.
-The refreshing scale is a form of measurement I invented that runs from a low end sand in your pants to a high of full body massage.
-REM won't be around anymore making new music, and that makes me sad.
-I realized that outside of Dave Matthews, Zeppelin and Ben Folds I own more REM albums than any other artists.
-Personal favorite REM song: New Test Leper off of New Adventures in Hi-Fi
-We have a theme and almost have invitations for the girls first birthday. Baseball themed (in pink).  I win!
-Normally I'm not the type to clamor for stuff, but I hope to have an iPhone 5 before the end of the October.
-To avoid being called an Apple fanboy, I have had the same 3G iPhone for 2 years and don't run out for every release.
-Bath time is so much fun in our house. Grace loves splashing.  Ana loves playing with rubber duckies.
-Do you think Grover's agent complains to the Sesame Street writers about all the screen time he's lost to Elmo?
-You don't ask those type of questions until you have kids.
-I thought Robert California's analysis of Sesame Street and Elmo was dead-on. #theoffice
-Do you know why people stay in their careers? Because learning something new is a lot of work.
-I happen to enjoy the challenges that are in front of me and find myself invigorated by not knowing everything.
-I just want to watch the NBA, and it is looking more and more like it won't happen for a while.
-The NBA lockout just makes me hate everyone involved. How can no one involved see this?
-Sometimes I read blogs and think "This isn't that great" or "Why is he/she writing this?" or "Who is the audience on this?"
-I never ask those questions about this blog. So well-written, funny, honest, at times heartbreaking and faith reassuring.
-I've never understood the appeal of fishing. I get sitting around drinking, but why add disappointment of not catching anything to that?
-It's hard to accept that an album all about how much money two guys have sold so well #watchthethrone
-I love when my girls laugh. It's actually becoming more of a chortle at this point.
-By the way clapping, laughing and dadas from two babies is actually like 7 times more awesome than one.
-I'd say that the marriage of chocolate and peanut butter is the greatest of all time. Right ahead of Antony and Cleopatra.
-You know it's fall when Count Chocula is on the shelves. #bestcerealever
-I'm coming up on my 100th post. I don't think I can afford a giveaway. So you'll get nothing and like it.
-I'm thinking I'll do something special when I get to 138. Sort of like The Simpson's 138th Episode Spectacular.

If I did a giveaway, what would y'all want? Case of Dr. Pepper? Halloween candy? Something SF Giants related?  An iTunes gift card?  Oh wait that's what I'd want.  Giveaways are what the cool bloggers do, and you all know I've always wanted to be a cool blogger.  But I also don't want to do a giveaway solely to gain more readers because that is inherently lame.  I really should have thought about this before my 98th post.

An Exercise In Futility

Erin and I have been trying to cut down our spending on a month to month basis.  We throw good money away for things we don't really need or use.  Like most people we got rid of a portion of our Netflix (which became Qwikster or New Coke or whatever).  We looked into dropping some of the premium stations on our television.  We tried to do a better job of spending at the grocery store.  We had identified the quick ways to increase the money we had available each month and allocated it more necessary items.

One those items: gym membership.  I'm not here to promote an unhealthy lifestyle.  If you use your gym membership and are in the best shape of your life because of it, good for you.  Personally I only ever go to the gym to use a treadmill.  Erin hardly used it for much more than that and the pool.  You don't need to take a logic class to know that a moving belt on a piece of electronic equipment isn't necessary to run.  And it certainly isn't necessary to pay out $60+ per month for the privilege to use that equipment.

So it was decided that a gym membership was fat that could be cut (pun certainly intended).

I put the girls down for a nap and had some time on my hands to handle some of this stuff.  I was on and off the phone in less than 5 minutes with DirecTV.  I told them to cancel something.  They did.  They even gave me three free months of HBO.  Thank you very much.  It was about as easy a customer service transaction that a person could do.

I was feeling good as I called our gym, but that didn't last.  The first three times I called all circuits were busy.  Apparently there was a run on cancelling gym memberships.  The fourth time I called I was connected to an automated line which put me on hold for about two minutes.  I was starting to get a little frustrated about it.  This is what we call the tip of the iceberg.

I finally got a live person on the phone.  I gave her my member number and told her that I would like to cancel my membership.  I also told her I'd like my last month's dues to be applied to the current month.  Her response "You can't do that."

Um...what?

Her: "You can't have your last month's dues applied to this month.  You'll be charged this month and your last month that you paid will cover next month."
Me: "I'm telling you that this is my last month ergo this would be paid with my last month's dues."
Her: "That can't be done."
Me: "Do you know why they collect first and last month's dues?  To cover you when someone leaves.  This is me leaving."
Her: "That isn't how it works.  Also you can't cancel over the phone."
Me: "I can't cancel over the phone?  Don't you sign people up over the phone?  What's the difference?"
Her: "That is unrelated.  Your contract states that it must be cancelled in writing."
Me: "Okay.  Can you do me a favor?  Grab a pen and write down the following: Brandon is cancelling his gym membership.  Now it's in writing."
Her: "I can't submit it in writing for you."
Me: "Okay then.  What is your email address, and I'll email it?"
Her: "Email doesn't work either.  It has to have your signature.  You can fax it or bring it in."
Me: "Really?  What is the difference?  You realize that an email is in writing, right?  Anyone can send a fax in to cancel it.  How would you know that is my signature anyways?"
Her: "That's how it needs to be done.  You signed this contract."
Me: "Yes.  I know that almost 5 years ago I signed a contract.  I've been a member of your gym since then with no issue until today.  I know that you only make people jump through these hoops because they are less likely to cancel the more inconvenient it is."
Her: "That's just how your contract works."
Me: "Yes, it is my contract which will be void in 5 minutes.  What is your fax?  I can't wait to send it in."

After trying to fax it four times with a no answer at the fax number she provided, I was done.  I strapped the girls in the stroller and walked to the nearest gym.  I had my letter prepared to turn in.  When the lady at the desk asked if she could help me, I told her that all she needed to do was file my paperwork to cancel my membership, and I walked out.

I've had an easier time quitting a job than this gym.  I've gone through break-ups that were less painful.  The customer is always right until he doesn't want to be a customer anymore.  The good that came out of it: I was motivated to run...away from that gym as fast as I could.

Daddy Daughter Days

We're already back to my favorite day of the week.  Thursdays with my girls cannot be beat.

Thursdays all pretty much start the same: I change the girls' diapers and bring them into bed with Erin and me.  She nurses Ana, and I give Grace a bottle.  Then we spend a few minutes snuggling in the bed.  Then we move from the bed to the floor to play.  After playing on the floor for a little bit, we go downstairs and eat breakfast.  Erin goes to work, and then the fun starts.

This morning was all about exploring the downstairs of our house.  The girls try to open every cabinet, cupboard and drawer in the kitchen.  Then they go into the dining room to see if they can open the china hutch and play with the napkins and tablecloths.  When they get tired of that, they move to the family room to look out the front window to see what's happening on the street.  They also like to get themselves stuck under the table.  It is very reminiscent of Sixteen Candles.  I see a little Anthony Michael Hall in Ana.

After naps, it is lunch time.  They love being in their high chairs as long as there is food in front of them or their dad to distract them.  I can't get over how efficient Grace can be while she is eating.  She only eats one type of food at a time, she doesn't leave much of anything on her tray and she doesn't really make a huge mess (unless she is tired).

After lunch we had some time to go on a walk and run some errands.  There was gym membership to cancel (we'll get into that tomorrow) and a trip to the grocery store planned.  We were all set to go both in one trip and mix in some exercise while we were doing it.

We got derailed from our plan because of a stupid thorn.  Apparently the tires on our jogging stroller are wafer-thin because a small thorn punctured a hole in the wheel, and it was flattening fast.  I wouldn't be nearly as frustrated by it if I hadn't just changed the inter-tube earlier this week.  So this tube basically lasted less than four days.  Thanks for that.

So a change in plans was in order.

It was off to the sporting goods store to get a patch kit for our inter-tube along with a new tube (you know just in case we roll over a rock or something).  We did some window shopping, but I was careful to keep an eye on Ana with her history.  She did see something she liked, or maybe I'm just projecting on her...

After a grocery run, we came home for a nap.  Mom got home which is always good for some huge smiles.  We all ate dinner together and rolled around on the floor.  Erin let Ana climb up the stairs before when I wasn't here, so she wanted her to show off her climbing skills for her dad.  It was quite awesome.  The only thing that made it better was Grace not wanting to be left behind and figuring it out before our eyes.  She seemed to be cheering herself on with each step.  It even sounded like she said I did it when she got to the top.

Not going to lie, I was choked up a little by it.  Babies have such a capacity to learn which is only matched by their curiosity.  They don't think about what is holding them back.  They just do or at least try to do.  It is inspiring and a reminder to foster that curiosity and give them new things to learn.  They may get frustrated, and they may even fail.  The point is to challenge them, and they'll blossom.

Happy Thursday.  Can't wait until next week.

Twitter Machine Tuesday

As I write this, I am certainly not thinking about writing it.  How is this possible with words still finding their way onto the screen?  That is a very reasonable question, and I can't really say I know.  Because right now I'm thinking about what is on TV tonight, and yet the words keep showing up.  I'm also thinking about what it will take for the Giants to make the playoffs besides a miracle combined with a collapse.  I'm also thinking about what my girls are doing at this moment.

As you can see it becomes very hard writing a blog with two cogent thoughts strung together.  Luckily for me, I have my Twitter Machine posts.  All I have to do is spit out one cogent thought, and actually it doesn't even need to be cogent.  Just a thought is all I need.  It doesn't have to be humorous or tug at your heart-strings.  It just has to be a thought and nothing more.  This doesn't bode well for people actually posting to the real Twitter Machine.  If I'm not thinking before I fake tweet, I can only imagine how little thought goes into real tweets.

So once again here are my unfiltered, unprepared thoughts for the week:

-The Sing Off is back on, and I have one of my guilty pleasures distracting me from writing again.
-Sara Bareilles is so much better and brings more to the table than Pussycat Dolls chick
-I hate wishing the worst on someone, but damnit I hope Arizona D-Bags choke so hard. #sfgiants
-Pro-Tip: Never try to drive home past a football stadium immediately after a game ends.
-You never realize how much you can hate multiple fanbases when you deal with them in traffic
-We actually saw a guy get out of his car to threaten someone...on the freeway. #safetyfirst
-As I see it, a two-ton truck is more deadly than your hard looks and over sized jersey #thinkitthrough
-JLo driving a Fiat is about as believable as me driving a Bentley
-Ana was sits in the bathtub looking at Grace just laughing.
-Kids constantly remind you why you had them (not that I needed the reminder)
-Poison for the last few weeks: Vanilla Coke Zero and Vodka. Crazy delicious.
-If The Playboy Club gets picked up for a second season, I'll eat a rabbit's foot.
-Apparently Modern Family is well-loved.  I don't watch it or the Emmy's, so I've no frame of reference.
-Any awards that fail to recognize The Wire can't be taken too seriously.
-But really what are awards shows but gigantic, televised, over-dramatic circle-jerks?
-Isn't it enough that these TV folks get paid handsome salaries? They also need awards to validate them?
-That being said Jon Hamm was robbed.
-Rice noodles are totally under-appreciated. This is also true of Thai food in general.
-Now I want some Pad Thai and Panang Curry. Anyone want to bring me dinner?
-When is fall supposed to happen? We're still in the 90s where I live.
-I want the leaves to change, the weather to cool and hot cocoa to become an acceptable beverage again
-Is Pete Campbell from Mad Men so annoying because we've all worked with someone like that?
-The girls love pancakes. I'm sure they'll ultimately prefer waffles but its a good start.
-I find that your political leanings matter very little. A blowhard is always a blowhard. #keitholberman #billoreilly
-Moneyball combines 3 of my favorite things: baseball, movies and Brad Pitt
-All they needed was to include my babies and wife and it would be the perfect movie for me
-Seriously can someone bring me some Thai takeout? I'm starving.
-I'm about 10 lbs lighter since starting Weight Watchers with @erinsgirls. Another 10-15 would work.
-If I hear Blue Bayou at work one more time, I may punch something #changethestation
-People playing made-up words in Words/Hanging with Friends is one step below hate-crime
-I feel like the R&D department at Nabisco is just a room full of stoners #tripledoubleoreo
-Erin and I are trying really hard to not curse in front of the girls. It's pretty fucking hard.
-Erin insulted Tony Bennett. He sings I Left My Heart In San Francisco. May lose her Giants fan card.
-I'll miss this summer heat like you'd miss a kidney stone.
-Underrated Pandora station that you'd probably think sucks at first glance but doesn't: Rush Radio.
-Doesn't look I'm getting any Thai food via my Twitter Machine. Looks like its leftovers tonight.

Signing off this week.  I'll be back revving up the Twitter Machine next Tuesday.  Have a great week.