Twitter Machine Tuesday

It's the one thing I always come back to every week no matter what.  Twitter Machine!  You know you've been missing it over the last seven days.  And why wouldn't you?  You get to be as lazy as me.  There's no story.  No character development.  Nothing challenging whatsoever.  And you better believe that it isn't challenging for me either.  Basically my Twitter Machine posts are the reality tv of the internets. Only with more cartoon birds.

Enjoy!

-I just want to start going to random weddings to tear up the dance floor. Can I get paid for that?
-It will be like Wedding Crashers except instead of trying to get ass, I'd be going simply to cut the proverbial rug.
-Hanging out with friends and drinking rum and cokes after day drinking at a wedding is a recipe for disaster. And good times.
-Luckily I listened to @erinsgirls and stopped drinking after my third rum and coke otherwise I would have certainly been sick.
-@erinsgirls had Chick-Fil-A for the first time on Saturday night. So delicious.
-Why is it that the time you want Chick-Fil-A the most is on Sundays…when they're closed? #hangoverfood
-Being a parent of twins got a lot more interesting now that they're both crawling. More to come on that topic in a full post.
-Already burnt out on the NFL and the lockout and it has only been over for a day.
-Is anyone actually surprised about Amy Winehouse dying? I was more surprised to learn she was only 27. #cocaineisahelluvadrug
-@erinsgirls mentioned Winehouse on Saturday and not knowing what happened I actually said "She's probably dead in a hotel room somewhere".
-She made her fame looking cracked out and singing "Rehab". These are what we call "warning signs"
-I don't care about your politics going to the White House and meeting the President would be so cool.
-You know what I hate? Racism.
-We saw the girls interact with other babies on Sunday. Little glimpses into the future.
-Is Chris Evans becoming a big star with Captain America? I loved him in Not Another Teen Movie and always thought he had star potential.
-Weeds has made my wife suspect everyone of dealing drugs. I'm sure that wasn't the show's intent.
-I need a vacation.  I haven't had an extended period off since the girls were born. I get one in August. Finally. -People being so angry with Netflix makes me laugh. It's $6. Bitching about it will change nothing.
-And now Ana has taken steps while holding onto the couch. #uhoh
-I've often wondered what the "real" Abe Froman, The Sausage King of Chicago, looked like. #saveferris
-If I've never said Happy Birthday to you in person, I'm probably not going to do it on Facebook. Unless you're really cool.
-Went to get Grace the other morning. She was in her crib, holding her stuffed bear and "talking" to it. Adorable.
-Was flipping through the channels the other day and @erinsgirls literally LOL'd at Jimmy Nuetron. #kidschangeyou
-I want to write a pop song with a random iPhone incoming text or voicemail tone. Just to screw with people.
-Are there any blogs that I should subscribe to on Google Reader? I love the blogs I follow. Just expanding the horizons.

That's all for this week's edition of Real Househusbands of Random County.  See you next week.