Twitter Machine Tuesday

Christmas this year wasn't nearly as hectic as I'd imagined it would be.

I figured now that the girls wouldn't tolerate going on a long car ride on our way to the Bay Area or on the way back.  It wasn't really my problem on the way there because I had to drive up on my own, but they slept the entire way home on Sunday night.  I feared taking them to a house that was nowhere near baby-proof would have calamitous results with two new walkers.  But they were great and didn't even injure themselves once.

There was a little issue of them refusing to sleep in this new house with all sorts of presents to open and enjoy, but even that wasn't so bad.

I'm really starting to think we're the luckiest parents ever with how good our kids can be.  They certainly make every holiday that much more enjoyable.

My gift to you: Another Twitter Machine!

-There was an issue of Grace throwing up twice (TWICE!) in the car when we drove to visit Erin's grandpa.
-Despite all their spit-up issues early on, they haven't been predisposed to vomiting. This is a new, gross phenomenon.
-Reason 1,367,142 why California rules: We went to the beach on Christmas day. First time the girls played on sand and saw the ocean. #suckiteverywhereelse
-Got a Kindle for Christmas. As a reader I'm very excited because it's so much easier to carry that than 3000 books I usually have.
-What is the deal with people posting pictures of every gift they received on Instagram or Facebook? #dotheyknowitschristmas #dotheythinkwecare
-There of course will be a picture post following this
-Do you watch A Christmas Story, It's A Wonderful Life or Sound of Music on Christmas Eve?
-I prefer the first two, but it always seems like we watch the last one.
-One of my co-workers keeps telling me how awful Bad Santa is. She obviously isn't cynical enough.
-Someone on TV today said the Royal Wedding was the story of the year #perspective
-I think the Navy Seals that killed Bin Laden might have an issue with that
-Has anyone ever actually followed through on a New Year's Resolution?
-I actually do plan on dropping another 10 pounds and completing my 30 by 30 list #justlikeeveryoneelse
-I'd really like to see The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo, but I'm going to need to read the book first
-I was turned off of the NBA until I saw Ricky Rubio make some beautiful passes in his first game #specialplayersmakespecialplays
-I still have no idea what we're doing for New Year's Eve. Staying in like last year is just fine by me.
-Ana has this fake cough. If she hears anyone cough she starts coughing too. It's adorable and strange.
-Grace on the other hand growls like a feral animal
-I have no idea where they get this stuff #probablytheirmother
-Falling asleep in a recliner while everyone around me opens presents should become a Christmas tradition
-I haven't gained any weight throughout this entire holiday season. And I've eaten terribly.
-And I still have Reese's Trees stashed away in case of emergency.
-Finally bought Erin The West Wing on DVD. Maybe the best gift I've ever given to her.
-She also got the Rob Lowe memoir.
-For those keeping track at home, that is in fact a Rob Lowe-themed Christmas. I know what my wife loves.

Hope everyone has a safe New Years.  Twitter Machine will be back in 2012.

Calvin & Hobbes Christmas

One of the enduring memories of my childhood were my birthdays and Christmases from when I was around 8 or 9.  I loved receiving presents around those times (who doesn't?), but I especially enjoyed those years because of certain gifts that I knew were coming.

You see around that time I was in the midst of an obsession with a certain precocious little boy and his stuffed tiger (a stuffed tiger that was alive and rambunctious when no one else was looking).  I of course am referring to Calvin and Hobbes.  I was a voracious reader growing up, but I especially loved Calvin and Hobbes.

I would be the first one to open the newspaper every day to turn to the comics and read the latest installment in the life of Calvin and his best friend.  When I realized that there were collections of all the strips that ran in the paper, I knew I had to have them and made it very clear to everyone else that I didn't just want them, I needed them.

So every year around my birthday and Christmas, I would burn through every gift I got just to find the latest book to add to my collection.

The reason I bring it up here is that my wife recently asked me to teach her about Calvin and Hobbes.  And what a great time to learn.  Bill Watterson's Christmas strips were some of the best that he ever wrote, and the man wrote some great Calvin and Hobbes strips.  To this day I think he is the best comedic comic writer that has ever lived.  He wrote stories that praised a little boy's imagination and spirit because fostering the imagination of your children is one of the great gifts we can give to them.  He has left me with so many wonderful and hilarious strips to share with my entire family.  For that I'm eternally grateful.

So as a gift for you this Christmas, I give you some of my favorite Christmas-themed Calvin and Hobbes strips.  All credit goes to Bill Watterson.  Enjoy.


 

 

This is the strip that got Erin intersted in learning about it



Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Christmas Eve

A flood of memories and emotions come to me every Christmas Eve.

I remember being so excited that I could hardly sleep on the nights before Christmas.  I knew that the moment I woke up I would crawl out of my bunk bed without waking anyone else up to scope out what Santa brought for me.  My sister was always soon to join.  It's likely she didn't sleep at all and the moment she heard any noise she assumed it was me and would be out by the fireplace to dissect all our new swag.

I remember Christmas Eve nights spent with my dad's family.  The White Elephant gift exchanges that some people took way too seriously.  The tamale dinners that night were always to die for and one of the best traditions about Christmas.

I remember the first year that I spent Christmas with Erin and her family.  We had only started dating about a week prior to Christmas, so it's a time that has always held a special place in my heart.  I already associated so much joy with Christmas, and eleven years ago I got another reason to love it.  Her uncles and family friends seemed to immediately click with me as we talked about the joys of horseradish on prime rib and clean sheets.

Now I have two little ones to experience all these joys over again.  I can see the happiness that Christmas brings from an entirely new perspective.  This time last year, they were just little helpless blobs.  This year they're both walking.  They are opening presents.  They love all the lights and the ornaments on the tree.  Christmas has always been a yearly marker along the path of life and lord knows it has flown by so far (even more so in this past year).

Grace and Ana,
I love you both.  I hope your hearts are filled with joy and the spirit of giving every Christmas (and every day for that matter).  You are the greatest gifts your mom and I have every received.  You're also the greatest gift for each other.  You always have someone in your corner besides your mom and me.

I love you,
Your Daddy

Twitter Machine Tuesday

Christmas is this weekend!  I love Christmas.  I couldn't enjoy giving gifts more.  There is something so fulfilling about putting thought into a gift and executing it exactly as you want.  And it all comes full circle when you see the look on the face of the receiver of your gift.  I love it.

I can't wait until those Christmas mornings when my girls are old enough to open presents and wake up early to see what Santa brought them.  I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they get something that they were wanting.  I can't wait for the hugs and snuggles in our pajamas while drinking hot cocoa around the tree.

On to the Christmas Twitter Machine!

-Hate to make broad generalizations, but why does every woman pee with the door open around their husbands/boyfriends? #generalizationaboutbroads
-Kim Jon Il...GONE. So Ronery without him.
-Not the best year to be a dickhead #kimjongil #ghadafi #binladen #stevejobs
-Now watch as every Apple fan gets up in arms and threatens me about that last one
-Still haven't gone Christmas shopping. Procrastination is great, but it will be just as good tomorrow.
-I do have a theme for my wife's Christmas gift that I'm sure she'll love #lovegivinggifts
-Ana likes to climb onto the fireplace. She also tries to pull down all the stockings. #adorable
-I think she wants to be the first person in the house to greet Santa
-Top 5 Christmas Movies: #it'sawonderfullife #elf #diehard #achristmasstory #badsanta #FACT
-Honorable mentions: Miracle on 34th Street, Love Actually, White Christmas, Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas
-Dishonorable mentions: Ernest Saves Christmas, Santa with Muscles, Jingle All the Way
-How come Bad Santa is on 1000 times during the summer, but nowhere to be found around Christmas?
-24 hours of A Christmas Story would only be topped by 24 hours of Die Hard #getonthatAMC
-Grace and Ana love having sword fights with plastic hangers
-I can't emphasize enough how excited I am for Erin's gift
-The NBA season is about to kick off #yawn #spoiledbrats
-I don't think I've laughed more reading a blog in a long, looong time as I laughed reading this
-We've been playing Christmas music all week at work. I love it.
-Tebow lost on purpose to throw people off the scent that he is the second coming #sarcasm
-When you think about it Santa Claus is the biggest creeper out there
-Francisco really is fun to say #elf
-My wife isn't too fond of Will Ferrell, but she LOVES the movie Elf.
-I'm working on my list for the Airing of Grievances right now, and I got a lot problems with you people #festivus
-Christmas also is a time to give thanks for The Simpsons and South Park. #simpsonsroastingonanopenfire #spiritofchristmas
-My mom is addicted to Words with Friends now that she has an iPhone #justlikealecbaldwin
-Newest parlor trick that the girls perform: Pointing at their heads when I ask "Where's your head?" #adorable
-Now I just need to teach them to point at the chimney when I say "Where's Santa?"
-Eating so many sweets these past two weeks #diabeticcoma
-Kids screaming while on Santa's lap is a staple of every family's first Christmas
-Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends #laheim
-That's it I'm watching Die Hard when I get home

Hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Christmas!

Twitter Machine Tuesday

Something I only partially touched on in my Christmas decorations post from yesterday is what I deem as an acceptable Christmas season.

I don't celebrate anything about Christmas until after Thanksgiving is over.  I find it disrespectful to the pilgrims when we immediately jump from Halloween decorations to Christmas decorations.  We shouldn't immediately go from the Monster Mash or Werewolf Bar Mitzfah to Christmas music.  Granted the Charlie Brown Halloween and Christmas specials are much better known than the Thanksgiving special, but the Thanksgiving special still exists all the same.

Normally I'd say that Christmas doesn't really start until December 1, but I've softened on this stance over the years.  I'm willing to make that small concession.  So now that Christmas season is in full swing, we can enjoy all the things that go along with it.

-You'll notice that I never say "holidays". It's Christmas damnit. You can say I'm intolerant. I just celebrate Christmas and say "Merry Christmas" #politicalcorrectnessbedamned
-If someone actually says "Happy Holidays" to me, I will tell them "Merry Christmas" in return.
-I do want to write a song to appeal to other markets. I'll call it "Last Hanukkah" in honor of Wham!
-You'll notice the picture of the Christmas Angry Bird. I'm officially addicted. It's like crack only with more pig deaths.
-And of course Pentatonix won The Sing Off. #calledit
-I've written Pentatonix so many times on my iPhone that it is autocorrecting every pent word to it.
-The next time I'm in Washington DC, I'm going to visit the Pentatonix #seewhatimean
-The only opinion of Tim Tebow is a strong one whether strong hate or strong love
-See also: New York Yankees, Duke basketball and the Dallas Cowboys
-The only way to describe my feeling of the NBA lockout settling is complete and total apathy
-The owners and players could have had an agreement months ago, but their egos prevented it
-Still haven't heard any of them apologize to the fans #entitledpricks
-My entire family finally moved into the iPhone world. I can't believe it took them so long.
-I know that every parent thinks it, but my daughters are the most beautiful girls in the world #FACT
-Saying FACT forcefully at the end of a statement is the best way to win an argument
-Erin has actually gone online to search out solutions for Angry Birds. I just shoot birds repeatedly until it works.
-I'm amazed at how many people there are that don't know about Pandora.
-Apparently Grace kept saying DADA while holding the Sexiest Man Alive issue. #kindacreepy #thinkshighlyofme
-Still haven't seen a movie in the theatre since Toy Story 3. No clue when this streak will be broken.
-We have however taken in quite a few Netflix Instant Queue movies
-Watched Red State the other day. Kevin Smith needs to stick to comedy.
-I want to take iSamJackson and put it to Songify to make the best time waster app ever
-Nevermind came out 20 years ago...and I still don't care for it or any Nirvana. #overrated
-Ten also came out 20 years ago, and it is still a better album by a better band #pearljam #seriouslynirvanaisoverrated
-I feel like every person I know saw The Muppets this weekend, and every one of them loved it.
-Saw a commercial the other day for a Napoleon Dynamite cartoon. Loved the movie but #ugh #seriously?
-Erin has this stuffed cow that moos. Grace can't get enough of it. Smiles every single time. #adorable
-Woke this morning with Ana trying to crawl onto my head. Best. Wake-up call. Ever.

That's all for this week.  Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Christmas Light of My Life

I don't think that I've broached the topic of Christmas yet in this space.  This is where loyal readers say 'Of course you haven't because you've only been writing this blog since like March, so when would you write about Christmas?  Idiot'.

First of all, no need to be so harsh.  I could have written about Christmas in June or July, but that would go against everything I stand for when it comes to celebrating holidays.  I'm well aware that Christmas is something new to discuss in my neck of the blog woods.  But I have a feeling that it should figure prominently in everything I write over the next few weeks.

This year we officially kicked off the Christmas season about as early as we ever have.  I blame (or credit, depending on my mood) my lovely wife for her unbridaled enthusiasm for all things Christmas.

She spent Saturday while I was at work putting up some decorations in the house.  She put the garland on the chimney.  She hung a wreath on the front door.  She put up star-shaped twinkling lights outside of our front window.  I'm surprised she didn't throw the tree up while she was at it.  I applaud the restraint that she somewhat showed there although I think she only did it out of fear of the girls pulling it down.

On Sunday we did some heavy duty yard work in our front yard which was loooooong overdue considering all the off days I spent NOT doing yard work.  There were leaves to blow and rake, bushes to trim, lawns to mow and gutters to clean.

Since we were already out there and had the ladder out, my wife suggested hanging the Christmas lights.  Sure.  What the heck.  So we untangled the strands we used on our trees before we went artificial (I know I'm like Scrooge and Hitler had a baby), and we strung those around the garages and along our gutter line.

It was nice to finally see our house lit up for the first time.

We didn't have lights the first year we moved in since we moved in right around Christmas and were more concerned with boxes and furniture than trees and twinkly lights.  Last year we had these two other little distractions to worry about and with which to concern ourselves.  So for the first time since moving in to our "new" house, we have decorations and lights up on the outside of our house.  We're even the second house on the block to get into the Christmas spirit.

We took Grace outside to look at the lights for the first time.  Ana missed out because she was sleepy and fussy.  The look in Grace's eyes is the reminder that every holiday is better with kids.  You could just see it all over her face.  She was simultaneously in a state of joy and wonder.  She didn't know how or why her house was all lit up, but it didn't stop her from loving it.  And to see the huge smile come across her face made my heart melt.

It made me love Christmas even more.