Twitter Machine Tuesday

Back again for another Twitter Machine Tuesday post.  My lazy and random ramblings in 140-character form.  As always I invite your 140-character comments below.  Or 280-characters.  Or however many damn characters you please.

-I'm doing the 30-day shred with my wife. I'd punch Jillian Michaels in the face...if I could lift my arms.
-It always feels good when an employee is thankful that they are working for you and not someone else.
-Maybe staying up til midnight watching the Giants wasn't a good idea, but that's being a fan. So proud my wife stayed up too.
-Little Debbie may be a white trash version of Hostess, but damn if Nutty Bars aren't the most delicious thing either sells.
-A little disappointed that @erinsgirls ALWAYS gets sucked into The Bachelor(ette). I could write a whole post on how craptacular that show is.
-I've never understood strip clubs. It's like a homeless guy paying money to look at a sandwich. How does that help with your hunger?
-I constantly say things while watching sports that the announcers say 2-3 seconds later. It freaks my wife out.
-It's June and the hottest day we've had so far this year was in the 80s. Go global warming!
-Erin bought me Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs for Father's Day.  The book not the movie. I love reading it to the girls, but I'm not really sure how they made a movie from that book.
-I also can't wait to introduce them to Calvin & Hobbes. Not sure if girls relate to it as much as boys. But I hope they love it because their dad does.
-I don't know how I can live in a world without Oprah. Are there any support groups I can join?
-Do you have to be a creepy guy to drive an ice cream truck? Why did we not realize this growing up?  This was before you could look up sex offenders on the internet.  That must be it.
-I just want to see Super 8. It seems like the sort of movie that needs a theatre experience.
-Seeing any movie while trying to get someone to watch the girls seems like more work than it is worth.
-Junior Mints may be the best theatre food. Especially after they've been in the freezer.
-I love that my wife makes breakfast like waffles or eggs & potatoes on the weekend. Like she's promoting family values. Or she just doesn't want Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
-Someone at work asked me if I wanted their first-born child. I told them I have plenty of those, but I'd take a middle child and a child to be named later.
-I had a dream that the Dutch were trying to steal our government secrets. This just shows that I don't racially profile, but I don't trust wooden shoes. Always vigilant!

Have a great rest of the week.