Twitter Machine Tuesday

I'm back again with my fake Twitter Machine.  I've once again included a cartoon bird which makes it especially official.  As always these are my random thoughts that would have made their way onto my Twitter Machine if I ever decided it was worth my time.

-I embrace my inevitable gray hairs. I'll maybe finally look my age.
-Our washing machine really stopped working the other night. Then it was running again the next day. I hate appliances.
-Craigslist will not be our solution this time around. We may even go new!
-Craigslust would be a good name for a gay dating website.
-I wonder if Tracy Morgan is just playing himself on 30 Rock.
-I don't understand the appeal of raw onions and radishes. They just overpower every flavor.
-My wife would probably say the same thing about super spicy food.
-Cat people always say "My cat is just like a dog." Then buy a dog. They're better, and that is why you use them for comparison.
-I'm working on a big fireworks show this weekend. Should be lots of work and lots of fun.
-I love weddings. Even in back-to-back weekends. I'm a sap & I love to dance, so they're perfect for me.
-Kate Miller-Heidke is an artist you should be listening to.
-I know the second one was shit, but I still really want to see the new Transformers.
-Jumperoos are the greatest. Our girls LOVE them. Too bad they cost an arm & leg.
-Ana gets this grin on her face like she was doing something wrong when you walk into the nursery.
-Saw a Corvette driven by what looked like an old Hell's Angel with a Rascal scooter strapped to the trunk. Gotta love retirement.
-The nicer the shirt the sooner they spit up on you. Also running late while going out will always lead to spit up.
-I love having people over for dinner. Preparing food for friends, eating and telling stories.
-And I thought I was the only one that had to deal with a wife that leaves shoes everywhere.
-My wife isn't a fan of me irrationally hating things #juliaroberts #nirvana #twilight
-Summer rain is definitely not a California thing, but I welcome it.
-Is there a more beloved actor based on a cancelled tv show than Nathan Fillion?
-Rice noodles are better than any other noodle. FACT!
-Grace's new nickname is going to be The Alarm Clock. She is up every morning at 5. No matter when she falls asleep.
-I'm really awful about waking up for the girls in the middle of the night. I feel bad about it.
-A part of me feels bad about the Dodgers filing bankruptcy.
-Another, much larger part of me loves seeing them fail & knows they deserve it because they're the scum of the earth.
-As far as promotions/sales go, the 5 cent wine sale at BevMo is maybe the best one out there
-I seriously hate when my wife lets the microwave beep over and over again. Okay I don't hate it. It just annoys me.
-I still love my wife in spite of this. Obviously.

Checking out for this week's edition.