Twitter Machine Tuesday

It wouldn't be a Tuesday without me dipping into my Twitter Machine.  At least it wouldn't be a Tuesday in my world without my fake Twitter Machine.  It really is my opportunity to let all my mind diahrea slip out.  Enjoy.

-The conference call is secretly the most counter-productive "productive" thing ever.
-My littlest sister (the one who didn't get married) is a strong-ass woman.
-At least she told us that between 40-50 times after the wedding.
-I want to write a script that is simply "Will Ferrell enters. Hilarity ensues."
-I learned this weekend why everyone always talks about the after party. The after party is better. Fact!
-My girls actually survived a night without us. Equally important we survived.
-The over/under for us being asked if we're worried about them was set at 100.
-Should have definitely bet the over.
-I don't care who you are or where you're from: There isn't a better drunk food than pizza.
-Stop trying to think of better foods. Ain't happening.
-It's all fun and games until someone falls asleep at the bar...then it's even more fun and games.
-Everyone questioning Pixar for Cars 2 invariably means it will be excellent.
-I'd like to go sky-diving, but it only seems legit if I do it Point Break-style i.e. gun & no chute.
-Okay tacos are a pretty good drunk food. I'll give you that.
-There is no joy I could experience that could match a child running through sprinklers on a hot day.
-I hate being in the car because as we all know everyone but us sucks at driving.
-Typing "Punched in the face" into a YouTube search has provided me with hours of entertainment.
-How do I get a gig as an actor in a corporate learning/orientation video? That'd be sweet.
-People will always find something to complain about. See I'm complaining about that.
-I've purchased movies I don't especially like simply because of an actor in them #gayforbradpitt
-Manufactured drama is my least favorite kind of drama. Ironic that reality tv feels the most manufactured.
-I have a great idea for an anniversary gift for Erin but she wants to do something different.  Right now I'd like a whole house fan.
-Erin and I hate summer and forget it every year until the weather is horribly hot.  We realize that summer is the most overrated season.
-Grace is now rolling over with ease, so the dream of only one mobile child was short-lived.
-I just want one weekend where I don't have to do anything.
-Let's just separate the musicians/actors from their opinions.  I don't really care about someone's politics or worldview if their job is to entertain me.
-And here is how I feel about the current administration...