Twitter Machine Tuesday

The girls have been sick over the weekend.

If you were looking for a reason why I've been so lazy about posting, that's the reason.  Although I don't know that anyone actually needs a reason for my non-posting.  So we'll leave the excuses out of it.  Just know that a post is coming about that too.

-Is kid snot the only self-renewable substance? Why are we not finding a way to harness that for energy?
-Erin and I didn't see The Hunger Games over the weekend. Yes we're the ones.
-This weekend is Earth Hour. We're getting the Irish Car Bombs ready.
-For those late to the party you can read about the Earth Hour adventures here.
-I'm with Peggy Olsen. I don't like this kinder, gentler Don Draper. #madmen
-As always Roger Sterling is wonderful in all his smart-ass glory. So many one-liners, so little time. #madmen
-For those of you who don't watch Mad Men and don't get those last two comments. Get with the program.
-Of course the Trayvon Martin thing happened in Florida. They're friggin crazy down there.
-Sometimes I see prompts on Draw Something and think "How the hell can I draw that?"
-The sickness is coming over me. I won't blame my daughters though. Just their noses.
-I've missed Parks and Rec these past few weeks.
-I love 30 Rock and all but I'd prefer both shows on my Thursdays.
-I've grown to hate just about every contestant on The Biggest Loser this season. Also not nearly enough falling off treadmills.
-Too bad the US sucks at soccer. Even worse that no one cares.
-I used to love going to the movies and watching the trailers. The internet has killed that joy. #damnyouinternet
-In case anyone cares, I could really go for some soup.
-The girls and I watched The Iron Giant while Erin went out the other night. Ana was enthralled. #goodtastekiddo
-I call my girls kiddo all the time. I honestly don't know where it came from because no one I know says it
-I may actually read the Harry Potter books now that they're available on ereaders. I just don't want to lug them around.
-Had three of the Final Four picked...except my pick for national champion #oops #mizzou
-Why is Michael Bay trying to murder my entire childhood? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles being aliens and not teenage? #huh
-Anyone else have "Zou Bisou Bisou" stuck in their heads after Sunday? #madmen
-Have you listened to "Rise Ye Sunken Ships" by We Are Augustines yet? Because you are missing out if not.
-I want to invent a barber/hair salon with a "No Small Talk" rule. Just cut my hair damnit.

I'm going to go down some Dayquil now.  Hasta.

Twitter Machine Tuesday

I'm not going to waste any time with my standard intro that's not fit to print in 140 characters.  Normally I'd regale you with tales of my life and girls, but there is no need.  Sometimes you just have to get right into the Twitter Machine, so without further ado...

-We don't have tickets for opening day of The Hunger Games. #fail #parents
-I'll gladly pay a babysitter for us to go see it. Maybe a date night or something for the wife and me.
-Apparently it's great. Or at least really well-reviewed
-Lenny Kravitz is in the movie but not on the soundtrack #freakyfriday
-The guy from Invisible Children getting naked and masturbating in public is pretty disturbing
-You'd think that seeing all the atrocities would have helped him handle people hating on him online.
-Buster Posey and I have some things in common #toyota #twins. We should playdate.
-The kids can come along too.
-Came home to Erin watching Dancing with the Stars last night. Rooting for Urkel #obviously
-The iPad just seems so useless to me. How necessary could it be with an iPhone and laptop?
-People actually said they were buying iPads simply because it was the last thing Steve Jobs had a hand in #sycophantic
-Mad Men is back on Sunday. Don Draper is my favorite tv character not named Homer Simpson.
-Peyton Manning went from one horse team to another. Wish the Niners got him.
-What to do with Tebow? I say trade him for an atheist and see what happens.
-This may actually have been a roundabout way to get Tebow back in the media.
-Prometheus looks to be awesome sauce with extra bananas
-I always heard stories of people getting back great tax returns, but I've never been the beneficiary. #untilnow
-I kind of want that Hunger Games soundtrack. I'm a sucker for Arcade Fire and Taylor Swift
-I'm not ashamed of that last fake tweet
-Why must we put everything in a bracket during March? It's so damn played out.
-I'd like to be cool and hip enough for SXSW, but I'm just too much of a nerd
-I'm a whole two weeks behind The Walking Dead. I feel empty inside.
-I'm caught up on Justified though. I love these friggin shows.
-Can someone please tell me how Jessica Simpson and Nicole Ritchie are fashion icons?
-Ana will now give a kiss when you ask her to. She even makes a kiss noise. #heartmelty
-Erin didn't believe it until she asked for a good night kiss. She offered to keep her up all night and reward her with chocolate.
-I also asked Grace how many is one and she held up her pointer finger.
-You say that you won't be that parent that gets proud over little stuff that any kid can do until your kid does it.

That's all for this week.  I'll be fake tweeting away this time next week.  Actually I'll try to do it a little earlier next time.

Daddy Daughter Days

I told myself at the beginning of last week that I would be a responsible blogger while being featured on Multiples and More.

That didn't last.

I was done posting stuff by the middle of the week and totally didn't post my Daddy Daughter Day from Thursday.  I suck.  Get used to it.

A few days late, but I'd figure I'd post it anyway.  Enjoy.

In my free and easy years (read: single), I would take a day off on the first day of the NCAA tournament.  I'd drink beer and eat wings all day and flip between 4-5 games at a time without ever watching a commercial.  Thursday is my normal day off now, so I thought I might get to watch some basketball with the girls today.  Didn't happen.  And as you can see by my Final Four, I'm screwed and stopped caring pretty quickly.

The girls kept looking at pictures of their mom throughout the morning and saying "Mama" while pointing at them.  So heartbreakingly adorable.

Help us.  We're trapped under here...

She's such a responsible care giver to here baby dolls.  Look at the attention she gives...

Okay maybe not.

We went outside to play in the rain.  It was lots of fun.  Especially playing with muddy rocks.

Grace stopping to smell the flowers.  This was right before Ana tried to pull the petals off.

After playing in the rain, Grace wrapped herself up in the warm blanket to rest.

I have no words.

Ana was tuckered out too.

"We can climb onto the couch all by ourselves.  Have fun worrying about us falling off because we stand and run across it.  Hooray!"

Erin brought a small table and benches home that her grandfather made for her when she was a little girl.  The girls love it already.  They wasted no time climbing onto the bench and sitting together.  We now have it in their book nook, so they can sit and read or color together.

It was another great day (except for my bracket).  See you next week.

Just Say No

What is it about little kids that they are just sponges?

They take every little thing you do and they make it their own.  If you walk or move a certain way, they emulate that walk or those movements.  If you stretch in the morning, they stretch too.  If you talk on the phone, they hold the phone up to their head and talk.

That last one is especially adorable.  Our girls say "Hi" followed by some indecipherable gibberish all while holding our iPhones to their ears.  It totally makes the times when they put the phones in their mouths worth it.

This is the reason why I try my best to not curse around them.  A little toddler dropping F-bombs while incorrigible is also not the best reflection of mom and dad.

My wife warned me that we shouldn't use the word "No" around the girls unless absolutely necessary because of their spongy nature.  She said that we should try using their names or say "uh-oh" instead.  And I've tried.  Really I have.  But when they're putting rocks in their mouth or reaching for an electrical outlet, I just can't help but saying "No".  It's a reflex.

So when Ana started shaking her head and saying "No" to random things, Erin wasn't too happy with me.  In fact she told me that she is totally blaming it on dear old dad.

I'll own it.  It's on me.  But so is them knowing peekaboo, so I'll wear it like a man if it means getting credit for both.

And really is knowing the word "No" all that bad?  Sure this is the gateway to them disagreeing with Erin and me, but this was going to happen at some point.  And maybe their early knowledge of the word "No" will help them later on in life.  Maybe it will keep them out of a gang some day.  Or maybe that douche in high school that pressures them into doing something they don't want to do will be met with a firm "No" that they've been practicing since 16 months.  I get that it's about choices and making your kids own their decisions and grow into their independence.  I just think it's impossible to not say "No" to them at some points.

I'll do my best to give them options instead of closed or opened doors, but it's still damn hard.  Sometimes "No" is just the most appropriate word for a given situation.

At least Nancy Reagan would be proud of me.

Twitter Machine Tuesday

First of all, I'd like to welcome anyone visiting from Multiples and More.  I can't believe they actually chose me as a featured blogger.  Technically speaking I am a blogger.  I post a few things each week to placate myself more than anything.  But to be featured on a site that probably gets 1000 times the hits I do...inconceivable!

I'd imagine I'm going to have a lot of new readers today, so I'll say the same thing to you that I said to my wife on our wedding day "Prepare to be disappointed".

I write stuff about my kids and being a dad, but the one thing I never miss is my Twitter Machine Tuesday.  I don't want to bother with an actual Twitter Machine, so I post 140-character thoughts here on my blog.  Seems reasonable enough.  More often than not these posts have nothing to do with being a parent of multiples, so we're already off to a misleading start.

Enjoy the Twitter Machine
-Don't even bother filling a bracket out. The person in your office that knows NOTHING about sports will win
-This is true 97% of the time. The other 3% will be the blowhard who thinks he knows everything about sports. #noonecaresaboutyoursystembro
-The first case is more frustrating. The second case is flat out annoying.
-I'm picking Mizzou to win it all. I apparently have a follower or two from the Missouri fansite. #payback
-Snooki is pregnant and I learned about it through a meme  about the Mayans #endoftheworld
-What is the guy equivalent for what The Bachelor choosing this model chick means for every girl in America?
-The closest I've come to it is LeBron James and The Decision
-I love Corned Beef and Cabbage even though it really isn't authentically Irish #themoreyouknow
-Guinness on the other hand is authentically Irish and incredibly delicious
-Irish Car Bombs are equal parts delicious and uncomfortable to order at a Irish pub
-I don't know what this Doritos Taco is, but it sounds awful
-My wife is so angry about this Bachelor right now. Like livid.
-Did we really need Grantland or the President to tell us that Omar Little was the best character on The Wire? #bestnotmiss
-All I keep thinking while looking at the bachelor guy is Planet of the Apes #drzaiusdrzaius
-That shark feeding frenzy video from Australia is nuts
-I'll take earthquakes over tornadoes all day long. Sorry I just would.
-Planning on watching The Commitments and Once this St Patrick's Day #annualtradition
-Homeless people as wireless hotspots? GENIUS!
-Might convince my wife to see the new James Bond movie. Javier Bardem is the villain.
-Erin and I always do a one-on-one bracket against each other. She's going down.
-Better sports month: October or March? #toughone
-Circle of Moms. Vote for Renegade Mothering. That is all.
-You reach a point where your kids just look so old. It sneaks up on you.
-This KONY thing blew up quickly, but is posting a video to your Facebook actually doing anything?
-Normally I would ask for the day off on the first day of the tourney. It's my normal day off now. #FTW

Once again, welcome to my new readers.  Hopefully I didn't scare any of you off.  If I did, pansies.

Peyton Manning. Randy Johnson. Grace Posey?

One of Grace's first words was ball.  She says it all the time.  She'll see a random ball from across the room and say ball over and over until you let her pick it up.

Of course I find this adorable and only wanted to expand on the cuteness, so I've taught her how to throw any ball she picks up.  Basically she just swings her arms wildly and throws it up in the air.  This is immediately followed with her laughing, picking the ball back up, saying ball again and throwing it another time.

But I think I've created a monster.

Now whenever she's in the back yard, she picks up rocks and throws them.  Granted this isn't a danger to anyone right now, but I fear a time when she decides that it would be funny to chuck a rock at her sister.  So now I'm avoiding the words of reassurance when she throws rocks.  What used to solicit a "Good job, kiddo" now is met with a "Careful" or some other words of warning.

I may be too late to curb her ball-throwing enthusiasm.

She throws everything.

Food.  Tossed.

Books.  Chucked.

Plates.  See ya!

The worst is her sippy cup.  We've been trying hard to move them off their bottles and onto sippy cups 100% of the time.  We think we've finally found one that will work, but Grace doesn't really agree.  Any time I hand it to her, she throws it across the room and cries.  After a little bit, she calms down and just drinks from it.  The problem is I don't think the cup can handle the constant crashes on the floor.  What should be a no-leak cup will eventually become a broken chunk of plastic.

I don't like the messes or the injuries that this need to throw things may cause, but I have to admit she has a pretty good arm.

Daddy Daughter Days

I realize that last week I didn't post a Daddy Daughter Days.

I apologize for any heartache this caused.  I know the real reason anyone reads this blog is to see pictures of my daughters.  My writing is mediocre, so we know that's not the reason.  So it must be pictures of them that draws you in.

So I'm back this week in spite of wanting to just rest my weary mind.

Nothing too special.  Just pictures for you to ooh and aww at.

The sunlight was coming in through the window just right, so that it caught the dust particles in the air.  Grace was grabbing at them but couldn't quite catch anything.

I love kids in overalls.  Especially my kids in overalls.  I hope it never gets old.

Have any of you Instagram users out there noticed that basically every other picture is feet or food?  This was my contribution to the former.  Grace's foot is on your left.  Ana's on your right.  Don't think that is some dad intuition or anything.  Ana's toe crosses over another one.  Not sure what caused it...probably something Erin did.

I see my girls doing things like this and wonder how anyone can have just one kid.  It seems criminal not to have more than one.

No she didn't write her own name.  That would be pretty amazing if she did, right?  She was just walking everywhere and writing random blue lines all over the ground.

She has the look of an artist, doesn't she?  All forlorn and crap.  Although I don't think Picasso tried to eat his paint or brushes.  Just shows that Grace is that much more dedicated to her art.

Ana rocking a fake smile.  Normally she has a toothy grin, but this one was a little more reserved.  If you look closely, you can see the rock in her hand.  She has a habit of collecting rocks and also trying to eat them.

And this is just our attempt to keep it gangsta up in our house.  You can tell it's gangsta because I used a Z instead of an S on "KIDZ".

Hope this was enough to tame the masses after missing last week.  You'll see us next Thursday.

Twitter Machine Tuesday

Next week I'm going to be the featured blogger on Multiples and More.

This is kind of a big deal for me because I'm kind of anti-social in the social media world.  Case in point, I write a fake Twitter Machine every week on my blog instead of actually signing up for Twitter.  I don't really care about networking and trying to gain readers.  I assume I already have about three-dozen readers.  By readers I mean people who hit the "Mark as Read" button on Google Reader a daily basis.

Now I'll be featured on an actual legit website that actually gets readers.  This increases the pressure of delivering a quality product to you, the readers.  Now don't read too much into that.  Just because I feel the pressure to do something doesn't mean I'll actually do it.  You'll still get that mediocrity that you've grown accustomed to ignoring.  You'll just have more company now.

On to the Twitter Machine

-Dude in Corvette convertible = Douche who doesn't have the money to really show off his douchiness
-Draw Something brings all the fun of insulting someone's drawing ability during a game of Pictionary to the iPhone
-My username is Meshuggadaddy in case you're wondering
-Ana says "Nose" and "Teeth" and "Eyes" while pointing at her nose, teeth or eyes. It's stupid cute.
-It's funny they learn totally different stuff at different speeds even though they spend the same amount of time with us
-My fantasy baseball league has its draft on Sunday which will last forever
-That is officially the last time you'll hear about my fantasy baseball team in 2012
-What's worse: Having to listen to someone you hate talk about their bad day or having your own bad day?
-I'm self centered, so I'll go with the first one
-My Tuesday hasn't really been all that Super. I don't know what all the fuss is about.
-They should go out of their way to release a comic book movie on Super Tuesday. You know for synergy or whatever.
-Seriously Netflix losing Starz on their instant queue is a big deal. Just ask anyone on the internets.
-I really think Draw Something and The Simpsons Tapped Out were designed by some evil mastermind. That's how addictive they are.
-Finally getting into a groove at my new job. Only took me 5 months.
-At what point do kids in overalls go from adorable to white trash?
-Instagram photo-a-day prompts may as well be called "Take a picture of something besides your daughters for once" prompts
-Apparently John Carter is coming out this week. Advertising doesn't work on me like it used to I guess.
-But Casa De Mi Padre is out next week. I may have to go...by myself since my wife won't.
-And then Hunger Games the week after that, which reminds me anyone want to watch our girls on the 23rd?
-Another fun game: Drunk Draw Something. Basically Draw Something and add alcohol of your choice
-I don't know if 30 Rock has ever been more manic and fantastic as this season
-Will be starting to read longer books to the girls before bedtime.

Speaking of that I'm off for the night to read someone else's thoughts instead of my own.

Hold You In My Arms

Last night we had one of those wonderful twin parent moments.

The girls had been asleep for about two hours.  Erin and I were downstairs watching The West Wing (what else is new?) after having our dinner.  We were relaxed after a wonderful Sunday spent as a family.

Then the crying started.

Ana started it off by wailing and screaming.  She wouldn't calm down.

Then Grace woke up and joined her in the scream party.

Moments like this are when I'm most thankful that I'm not a single parent.  Singleton parents just don't know that joy of trying to calm down one baby while the other one screams away.  It's nearly impossible to calm one down when the other one is crying at the top of her lungs.  Luckily we're evenly matched.  Erin took care of Ana, and I pick up Grace and took her into the other room.

I swayed back and forth until she calmed down and rested her head back on my shoulder and fell back asleep.

And all I could think was "There will be a time when I won't be able to hold her in my arms and rock her to sleep."  It's a realization that every parent comes to at one time or another.  It's so obviously when you think about it, but I think a part of me refused to accept it as reality.  I think because it's a thought that absolutely crushes you.

Your purpose as a parent is to protect and provide for your child.  That becomes more and more difficult as they gain independence.  You have to give up on the idea of always being there for them.  That they'll always want you there for them.  It's a hard pill to swallow, but it's a pill that must be swallowed all the same.

So I held her in my arms a little bit longer.  I refused to put her down for an extra minute or two.  I cherished the moment, and I'll cherish every one of these moments until I can't anymore.  I don't mind that it started with tears and screams as long as it finished with me holding my daughters.