FIVE!

Five years ago today I married my best friend.

As I look back at every version of myself, I have no problem saying it has been the best five years of my life.

No offense high school and college me, but you guys just don't hold a candle to happily married for five years me.  You may have gotten summer vacations, but I get to wake up every morning to the love of my life.  You had it easy, no doubt.  But you also didn't get to see your first children born, so I'm counting that one in the win category for the me of the last five years.

Colorado me tries to make claims that he had a pretty good run, and I don't disagree that it was a beautiful and enjoyable time.  There was a lot of freedom and getting to know myself there.  I also got to live in one of the most beautiful places in the world.  Unfortunately it was also a time spent away from Erin.  As Colorado me knows, this will always be a time that I missed out on years we can never get back.  Once again this one goes to happily married for five years me.

The me of the last five years also takes the win in sports memories.  From attending a World Series game to watching my team win it all, it was only made better with my wife by my side and my children on the way.  It only is made better having spent it with someone you care about.  Sorry every other me, but you didn't see the Giants win the World Series.  Happily married for five years me wins yet again.

The thing that earlier iterations of myself could never understand is how incomplete they were.  You couldn't convince me of that in high school or college or any time really.  I was dating the woman that would become my wife throughout most of that time, but I wouldn't spend every day with her until we got married.  I thought I had it all I needed in life until I heard my beautiful girls say "Dada." 

You don't know how empty your arms were until you've held someone you love in them.  You don't know how empty your heart really was until it's been filled up.  I've held Erin and my daughters, and it was the first time my arms felt full.  My heart has spent the last five years being filled to the point of overflowing.

I love you eringirl.  You've brought so much joy to my life.  You constantly challenge me to be a better man without condecension.  You value my opinion over all others (or at least you don't tell me otherwise so you don't hurt my feelings).  You truly look at me as your partner and not just some guy that doesn't do the laundry nearly enough.  You're the first person I see every morning (except when you put Grace in the bed to wake me up) and the last person I see as I drift off to sleep.

I love my life, and this amazing five year run all started with an "I do."  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Twitter Machine Tuesday - Sappy Birthday Edition

Today is my wife's 30th birthday.

It's funny to look back on all the birthdays we've had together.  We started dating over 10 years ago, and her birthday has always been a source of found memories.  I remember going down to San Diego to celebrate with her while she was in college.  We'd drink too much and stay up too late.  We'd hang out in her dorm and eat at the Old Town Mexican Cafe on Sundays before I left.

I remember her 21st birthday.  Well I don't remember it in person because she was in Spain.  She called me in the middle of her night and the middle of my day after celebrating with her Spanish friends.  I told her how much I missed her and how much I hated not being with her on her birthday.

I remember moving to Colorado right before another one of her birthdays.  She didn't want to see me go.  She hated me when I left, and there was a part of me that hated myself.  She felt abandoned and had every right to.  I hated that I left her, but I'm also glad to have spent that time on my own.  It made me appreciate her that much more.

I will never spend another of her birthdays without her.  I want to be the man that is by her side on important days like today.  I want to give her all the gifts she deserves and all the love I can.  I can't wait to give her gifts that I've organized with our girls.  I see hundreds of handmade cards and gifts in her future.

I love my wife.  I love my best friend.  I love Grace & Ana's mom.

Happy Birthday Eringirl!

Now enough of the sap and on to the Twitter Machine:

-Birthday balloons are the girls' new favorite toy. They fight like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome over them.
-I just don't buy Donald Sutherland as President Snow in The Hunger Games #nerdalert
-Apparently Netflix Instant pulled all the Whitney Houston movies, so the studios can make more $ #soulless
-While the headline on ESPN about Jeremy Lin was unfortunate, I don't think the guy needed to be fired
-"Pitchers and catchers report" are the best four words of every year
-I plan on giving up being thoughtful for Lent
-The Oscars are on Sunday #whocares
-I would never go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. I hate that city. Love the food. Love the music. Hate the city.
-Kristen Wiig's whole MO on SNL is putting both her hands over her face and acting surprised. Every impersonation.
-Erin shares a birthday with Alan Rickman, Kelsey Grammer, Chuck Palahniuk, a Baldwin, Ellen Page, CP-30 and Rue McClanahan #RIP
-She's probably pretty excited I left Jennifer Love Hewitt off that list #ohwait
-Minimalist piss me off. How dare you not want more stuff.
-Almost done with season 4 of The West Wing. I'm thinking LOST will be next on our rewatch list.
-Then it's up to me to convince the wife to watch The Shield
-Seriously Birthday Cake Oreos may be the greatest invention since penicillin
-Paris Hilton's ex-boyfriends disagree with that last statement.
-The Simpson's 500th episode was enjoyable.  Nothing groundbreaking, but it was solid.
-I see 2 & 3 year olds with ipads and iphones and just shake my head. Heaven forbid interacting with your kids.
-Kids in overalls is the cutest damn thing you'll ever see. Especially my kids. #biased

I'm going to go back to spending time with my wife on her birthday.  Happy Tuesday everyone!

Daddy Daughter Days

It seems as though I haven't written one of these in quite some time.  Must be because I've gone in to work almost every Thursday for the last couple of weeks.  Well I'm back for another installment this week.

Let me first apologize to anyone that follows me on Instagram since you'll be seeing all the same pictures that posted throughout the day.  Also get over it.

The day started like every Thursday does.  The girls snuggling on the bed/floor in our bedroom with me.  It may be the best part of my life.  That isn't hyperbole.  I actually think it is the best part of any day and therefor the best part of my life.

I mean wouldn't wake up to this be the best part of your day too.  Ana loves to play.  Even when she is having her morning bottle (as you can kind of see in the bottom right corner above).

There also seemed to be a theme of Grace being obsessed with clothes throughout the day.  Also she was in a very helpful mood.

Here she is "helping" reorganize one of the dresser drawers in her bedroom.  Diaper covers and pajamas apparently go on the floor now.

Here she is wearing a hat that supposedly came from Peru.  She cannot get enough of this hat.  She digs into baskets to find it and tries to put it on when she does.  Her idea of putting it on is just throwing it on top of her head until it falls off.  Then she throws it on there again.  Normally her and Ana will pull off whatever we put on their heads immediately, but this hat is special.  Grace will keep it on all day.  Also how am I ever supposed to say "No" to her about anything?

Here Grace is helping with the laundry.  Very good folding kiddo. Erin already thanked me for posting a picture of her underwear to the internet.  Of course that was on Instragram where my pictures are private.  Now it's really on the internet, and you're welcome.

We loaded up the car and I drove extra carefully to Target to avoid any puke-splosions.  We had some normal shopping to do, but there was one special fun item for the girls.  New slippers for them to wear around the house.

After we got home it was time for afternoon naps.  Not according to Grace.  It was time for her to stay awake, yell and play with dad.

We purchased magnetic letters for the girls for Christmas.  It didn't take long for things to get inappropriate.  I'm sure everyone is very surprised by this.  You know since I'm such a mature adult and will serve as a constant and positive example of decorum and good taste for my girls.  That second one was all for Erin, Kim, Dani and Janelle.  Yes, it was an inside joke so inside that it was on my fridge.

As always it was my favorite day of the week.  I'm glad to share a piece of it with all of you.

Your Shoulder

My wife has been put through the ringer recently and yesterday it finally caught up with her.

People think that she is a strong-willed and tough.  She can be, but she is also as fragile as anyone I know.  She can be reduced to a blubbering mess just like anyone else.  She doesn't have thick skin like some people think.  In fact quite the opposite is true.  She feels everything and oftentimes wears her emotions on her sleeve.  Hurtful words or sadness can cut her heart like a knife.

This sadness and hurt finally broke the dam and came out in wave of tears and incomprehensible grumbles last night.  She kept saying how broken she was.  How she worries about what everyone thinks about her.  How she misses her family and wishes she could spend more time with friends.  She is filled with so much regret because of poor decisions she's made, and she wants to be better for her daughters.

And I did all a husband can do in this situation, I held her and I told her it would be okay.  I told her I love her.  I told her she is a wonderful wife, a fantastic best friend and the best mom Grace and Ana could ever have.  I told her the people she's touched were better for having her in their lives.  That I'd be hard pressed to find a more compassionate and understanding and giving individual.

And she wept.

And I held her.

And even if she didn't believe me in that moment, I knew every word I said was true.  I knew that at some point she would know it was true too.

Sometimes you just need to cry.  I'll always be your shoulder.

Twitter Machine Tuesdays

If you don't read my wife's blog, I pity you.  Actually it isn't pity.  More disappointment that you aren't getting her awesome perspective and humor.  If you have been reading her blog then you know that she has been on the fence about whether she should join the Twitter Machine.  She feared hashtags and @ symbols.  She didn't know who to follow besides Brian Wilson of the Giants and Rob Lowe.  She also thought she might be missing something by not being on the Twitter Machine, so she finally caved this weekend and threw herself into one more social media endeavor.

I've come to the conclusion that I can't do the same.  I actually had a Twitter Machine account set up for me when I was writing and podcasting for Talkhoops.net, but I literally never tweeted (or twated or twit or whatever) anything.  I'm far too long-winded to ever post cogent thoughts in 140 characters or less.  I already do enough of that via Facebook, and that really just devolves into constantly posting about the Giants.  I'd probably just re-tweet inappropriate things that would get me in hot water or get caught up in the latest meme that was sweeping the internets.

My wife did have a great idea that I have no problem stealing: Do a weekly post in a Twitter Machine-esque format.  I could gather all of my 140-character thoughts from the week and post them in one place.  I could also reach out to others to contribute with their own 140-character comments, people you should be following, re-tweets that they'd like to share or any other Twitter Machine related items.

So follow my wife's Twitter Machine @erinsgirls and here are my "tweets" for the week:
-Baseball, fresh cut grass, warm days and cool nights, flip flops, BBQing. Isn't Spring great?
-You can't spell cLAssless without LA. No one should be beaten into a coma because of their fandom.
-How is there not a Count Chocula-esque cereal available year round?  I'd buy it all the time and get so obese.
-Is there something to be said about the duality of man when I hate fondant except when it is in a Cadbury Cream Egg? Or am I just food schizo?
-My wife cut dairy out for the girls. No pizza. I miss it. I actually salivated at a Dominoes commercial yesterday and I hate their pizza.
-If there was a Music March Madness my #1 seeds: Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Marvin Gaye, The Clash
-If there was a Music March Madness my #2 seeds: The Who, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, The Beach Boys
-If there was a Music March Madness my #3 seeds: The Rolling Stones, James Taylor, Michael Jackson, Pearl Jam
-No baseball team drafts better named players than the Giants: Matt Cain, Buster Posey, Brandon Belt. All top-notch.
-I can't respect anyone that prefers cake to pie
-As bad as the second Transformers movie was, I have to admit that I'm still very excited for number 3. Damn you Michael Bay!
-After The Shield and Justified, can we all just agree that Walton Goggins is the best actor working on television right now?
-Summer/Spring break is great when you're a kid. Better in college. Missed as an adult. Hard as a parent. And daily when you're retired.
-My daughters wake up smiling all the time. I'd like to think it has to do with me, but they probably just know they're getting fed.
-Things I'm good at: Words with Friends, singing in Rock Band, talking on the phone, arguing and knowing when to end a blog post

What are your 140-character thoughts or re-tweets?  Who should people be following on the Twitter Machine besides my wife?  Comment below.