The Scoop on Poop

As I said in my last post, I had literally never changed a diaper in my entire life before the day that my girls were born.  When you don't know how to do something and you're learning how to do it with a delicate, wiggly little girl, it is more than a little nerve-racking.  And you can't put it off.  You cannot escape changing a diaper as a dad.

Death, taxes and diaper changes.  Inevitabilities.

Since that first day in the NICU I have jumped at the chance to change as many diapers as I possibly could.  In fact I make an effort to change every single diaper when I'm home.  Twins have given me plenty of practice in the diaper changing department.  It has also helped me learn quite a few things about changing diapers:

• You will never be more excited to see poop in your life.  It's almost unnatural when you think about how happy poop makes you, but it is most certainly a relief when you've gone a few days without a poopy diaper.
• Your kid will seem stronger than you would ever think; breaking away from your grip like he or she is a wrestler and the state championship is on the line.  Or maybe its just an irrational fear that you're going to break them, so you let them wriggle away.
• This will always lead to a foot in a dirty diaper.  Take off any socks before you start changing and the wiggling and squiggling begins.
• Always put the clean diaper at the ready underneath the dirty one in case he or she isn't done.  Trust me.  This is something you'll blow off and learn the hard way.
• If your wife/significant other/baby mama is breastfeeding your kid or kids, your child's diapers won't smell nearly as bad formula-fed babies.  Another nice bonus of breastfeeding.
• Blow-outs aren't nearly as bad as you'd think, and I've seen some diapers that looked like a war zone.
• Your wife or significant other will be incredibly thankful and think you are the best dad ever since you are helping her out by taking a job off her plate.  Volunteer and be enthusiastic.  There a worse things than having to change a diaper.
• You will always go from uncomfortable baby to happy baby which means they will always associate you with making them happy.  I feel like this is the way I can catch up with Erin in her breastfeeding bonding.  Sure she can make them happy with food, but I can make them happy with cleanliness.  And the saying ain't fullness is next to godliness.
• I've connected with my girls while changing their diapers more than at any other time.  It's when I get to spend one on one time with them without any other distractions.  I get to smile and sing to them.  They get to see me and only me for a few moments.  It is beyond awesome.

Erin gives me a hard time because of how long I take to change diapers, but it has nothing to do with me being inefficient or bad at doing it.  In fact I'd consider myself an expert-level diaper changer.  I would definitely be a black belt in diaper changing, but I'm pretty sure the Cobra Kai didn't give out belts for that.  I just love spending time with my girls, and the good of diaper changing definitely outweighs any bad.  I make the most of it and take my sweet time.  Can you blame me?