Then I started thinking about it even more. I leave for work every morning before they are awake, so I don't get mornings with them. Basically they don't see me from the time they go to sleep until I get home from work the next day. I did the math in my head, and I came to the realization that I only see them for four hours every day during the week. I've been moping around ever since. From Monday to Friday, I am only a part of 1/6 of their lives. And that's a combined total. When you consider that this time is split between them, I really only factor into 8% of each of their days.
Think of something you only do 8% of the time. That is less than a lunch break during your work day. There is more time given to commercials during your favorite television show. It would be like only watching four minutes of an NBA game. That would only be 18 minutes of the running time of Lawrence of Arabia. Imagine only being able to do something five minutes of every hour and then missing out on it for the other 55 minutes. If my life was a foot, my time with each of my girls would be an inch.
It makes me feel like my experience with them and their experience with me is incomplete. Which in turn makes me feel incomplete. I know that I have every weekend with them which is my catch-up for the week. It is almost as if I have partial custody of my own children. I know I've written about missing them and their milestones before, but I never figured out the math behind it until today.
I hope they recognize me when I get home. I'll make the most of our time together.
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