Twitter Machine Tuesday

Today is my sister's 28th birthday, and all I can keep thinking is how old she is and how old I am by proxy.  I don't know if I'm the only person that feels this way, but I never feel older on my birthday or when I look at myself in the mirror.  It's always when I see someone else getting older that it hits home for me.

I get that I'll be turning 30 in October, and I realize that is milestone birthday.  Some may even say that is old.  I don't personally.  Yet I see that my sister is 28 and I think "Man, we're getting older."  It's weird and a little backwards.

Anyways happy birthday to my little sister.

-The Call Elmo app is so entrenched in our lives that the moment the girls get in our bed in the morning they say "Elmo?"
-Although I'm going to make sure they avoid that Elmo impersonator that cusses kids out
-Ana actually is saying the word Giants now and points to any logo I have on me when she sees it. #getemyoung
-It just goes to show that you don't choose your teams, your team chooses you.
-Or your parents choose them for you #eitherway
-Working on some more Criminally Underrated stuff for you. Should be out next week.
-I've had a Groupon for Icing on the Cupcake for like a month without using it.
-Obviously my love and devotion for cupcakes should be called into question.
-After the surge of cupcakes, cupcakeries & cupcake TV shows, how has there not been a similar surge in Mini-Pies? #getonthatamerica
-Alex Trebek. Who is a game show host that just had a heart attack?
-Anthony Davis trademarked his unibrow. I think Bert has a case against him #sesamestreet
-A lot of chick flick lovers are going to be heartbroken by Nora Ephron dying #sleeplessinseattle #whenharrymetsally #youvegotmail
-I don't think the All Star Game is a big deal, but it would be cool to see some more Giants make it #sfgiants #MLB
-I don't know how we lived without Facetime. Seriously coolest invention ever.
-If your child is getting picked on by a bigger, older kid that may have a disability, how do you respond?
-Any time we don't watch The Bachelorette on a Monday has to be considered a win.
-Erin, her siblings and I went to the Giants-A's game on Sunday. Last second trip and was totally fun.
-I don't want to be a snob or anything, but AT&T Park provides a much better in-game experience than Oakland
-A's won with a walk-off. And an A's fan said it was the best game ever. #perspective
-And her argument when I said that the Giants won the series "Well we suck, so it isn't a big accomplishment" #really
-At least we agree on one thing, the A's do in fact suck
-My wife and I have been eating ice cream more often. Probably because she is foul temptress.
-Ana likes to tackle Grace. It's how she shows her affection.
-Ana has been blowing kisses for a while, and Grace has started doing it too. It seriously is too much for my heart.
-I know there are more popular condiments, but guacamole is far and away the best #thereisnoargument
-Seriously stop thinking about better condiments. You just won't win this one.
-I still hate the Dodgers in case you were wondering #sfgiants #beatla

That's all for this week.  I have to get myself ready for another Giants-Dodgers showdown.

Twitter Machine Tuesday

I keep writing introduction paragraphs like I normally do on my Twitter Machine posts, but I keep finding myself saying "That would be better as a full post."  There are times when I can literally think of nothing to write, and today I've shelved three different posts because I want to expand on them.

Now I'm left grasping at straws in my intro to this post.  Honestly.  The well is dry.

How about this: I'm closing in on my 200th post.  I'm on the fence whether I'm going to do another giveaway like I did to celebrate my 100th post.  And if I do another giveaway, I'm going to need some ideas on what swag to hand out.  I could stick with Icing on the Cupcake since it is so delish.  I should do something that is a little more enticing to those loyal readers living outside of my neck of the woods.  I'll take suggestions in the comments.  I may not actually do anything you suggest, but I'll at least read them.

On to the Twitter Machine

-My wife secretly loves watching The Bachelorette with me. I'm just so angry with its existence and don't hold back any snark.
-I honestly wish I could punch every douche on that show right in the junk. Without question they'd deserve it.
-The problem with The Bachelorette is there isn't anything else on during the summer, so the DVR is taken over by it. #summersucks
-How many people have permanent cornea damage after the eclipse on Sunday?
-Can you put a price on something that you use to tell friends random crap throughout the day? #facebook #38dollarsashare
-The first Anchorman 2 trailer is magnificent!
-In fact there are two teasers, and both are amazing.  Jean-creamin' time!
-In related Will Ferrell news: He'll be in movie with Zach Galifiniakis. Too much hilarity.
-How many people have to be beaten up in parking lots before we just get rid of the Dodgers? #mlb #classyfans
-We need to make more trips to Costco if only to replenish our supply of boxes for the girls to play with
-One good thing about the summer: Our girls are rocking total sandal tans with their Salt Water Sandals
-I got mentioned way more than the car in this article, but I appreciate it all the same.
-Honestly if Don and Joan hooked up it would be too sexy #madmen
-Erin found a 24 pack of Blue Moon at Costco for $22, and they threw in two free pint glasses #yesplease
-I miss LOST. I think it's just about time to rewatch it.
-Sometimes I miss our old life in the condo. Actually I only miss the restaurants.
-We downloaded the Elmo Calls app. The girls absolutely love it.
-Erin got hooked on Smash. I'll hear it from the other room, and all I can think is how atrocious the writing is.
-Any recommendations on good books. I'd like to start reading before bed this summer.
-I won't be taking any 50 Shades of Grey suggestions seriously
-Can we all agree that we don't want to see LeBron James win it all? #nba #miamiheat
-I would literally have no problem with any of the other remaining teams winning the title. #nba
-I'm just kind of going through the motions at this point. Like LeBron in the 4th quarter. #zing

That is all for this week.  Like I wrote before taking suggestions in the comments, so fire away.  See you next Tuesday.

Twitter Machine Tuesday

Another Tuesday, another Twitter Machine.

This is a very special Twitter Machine.  Sort of like those episodes of Saved by the Bell when Jesse has too much on her plate because she is an awesome student, the student body president, a cheerleader and in the group Hot Sundae with Kelly and Lisa.  So she deals with the problem by taking caffeine pills.  Until Zack confronts her and gets the "I'm so excited. I'm so...so...SCARED ZACK" moment that will live in YouTube infamy.

Only it isn't special like that because I'm not addicted to caffeine pills nor am I so, so scared of anything.  Instead this post is very special because I will reveal the winner of the 100th Post Icing on the Cupcake Giveaway Extravaganza Spectacular.  But you have to sit through my Twitter Machine first.  You could also just scroll to the bottom of the page, but you'd be losing out on the wonderful insight that I provide in these posts.  By insight I of course mean mildly offensive and random thoughts.

Without further ado (or any ado really)...

-I realized when I posted the above picture that the Chickenhawk was the original Angry Bird.
-I don't have feelings either way about Columbus Day, but I apparently know a lot of people that hate Columbus.
-Or they at least used it as an opportunity to rail on Colonialism.
-Steve Jobs was a great businessman, had vision and was a master marketer.
-He was also (according to everything I've read) an incredible asshole who bullied people.
-Not saying you can't mourn his death. Not saying it isn't tragic. Just saying I choose to not deify the guy.
-Al Davis was also ahead of his time, bucked the system, questioned authority and took chances. He deserves a moment of reflection.
-Netflix is all over the place and seems to lack direction. Not really reassuring at this point. #newcoke
-Whitney has lasted about 4 episodes too long. Have 4 episodes aired? #feelslike30
-I actually haven't watched a single episode of Whitney. So I have a lot in common with America.
-The national nightmare is over. The Simpsons will have a 24th and 25th season.
-Seriously NBA get your shit together. I don't want to miss an entire season of basketball. #2weeksoff
-Starting to think David Stern is just a huge dick.
-Erin on the George Harrison doc by Scorsese: This is the most boring Beatles thing ever
-She also was enthralled by 3 minutes of Sister Wives #noremotecontrol
-Why was a woman in her 39th week of pregnancy even running a marathon? #makinguslookbad
-Ben Folds Retrospective on the way to my mailbox. Happy Birthday to me!
-Didn't Toyota Tacoma do the exact same marketing campaign that Nissan Frontier is doing now?
-Apparently Rihanna is the sexiest woman alive according to Esquire. No one could beat her. #toosoon
-People are actually dressing up like superheroes and fighting crime.
-I don't have a joke for that. I just want to know how quickly before one of them gets shot.
-The girls like to go into our closets and look for clothes and shoes.
-I couldn't get at least a year or two of not having clothing-obsessed daughters?
-You can keep American Idol and X-Factor. The Sing Off is incredible and waaaay better.
-The Avengers will be incredible and has the potential to be the most entertaining thing that happens in 2012 #nerdalert
-There are some cupcake lovers out there just chomping at the bit to know who won. #justasec
-I obviously love my girls. If I didn't, it would only take a smile to convert me.
-Sometimes I just sit in their room next to the cribs and stare at them. #whoneedstv
-The problem with actually knowing how to fix your computer is everyone wanting you to help them with theirs.
-Okay.  I know I've stalled long enough. The winner is below.

The 6th entry was Janelle over at Renegade Mothering.  I love her blog.  I couldn't even tell you if she likes cupcakes or not or if she'd give them to her kids.  If not, she can always re-gift them.  Congratulations Janelle!!!  Enjoy the cupcakes!

Daddy Daughter Days

I know that this is a couple of days behind my normally scheduled Thursday post.  I have no excuse besides being incredibly busy.  So you won't have to read more than that.

Onward and upward!

Thursday kind of started out crappy.  There were a bunch of people off because of meetings and training, so I had to go into work in the morning on my normal day off.  It wasn't too terrible except I was one of only three people in the office.  Even then I didn't really need to be there since there was no one coming in for some reason.  Either way it took a morning with my girls away from me.  Boo to that.

The girls were already worked up and exploring when I got home.  They want to know how the oven works.  Maybe they're planning on baking me some cookies.

While in the kitchen, the girls always seem to find their way to the same cupboards to pull out their favorite plastic ware (mostly because everything else is locked up).  This always leads to some fun of the girls fighting over the same pieces.  Namely the bowl you see below.

First Ana had it.

The Grace took it from her.

Then we got a little silly.

The afternoon gave us a little duality of baby action.  Ana has been fighting her naps recently.  Not really sure the reasoning behind it, but she has fought it nonetheless.  Grace on the other hand has been going down without issue.  Thursday afternoon was no different.

This is an example of a kid that doesn't want to nap.

And here is an example of a kid who enjoys her naps.

It was a pretty good Thursday all things considered.  I still got to spend time with the girls.  We still went on a family walk when my wife got home from work.  We had a great dinner time and bath/bed time.  Even working in the morning didn't ruin my day with the girls.

And they seem to love it.

Just a reminder, you're running out of time to enter the 100th Post Icing on the Cupcake Giveaway Extravaganza 2011.  Go to my 100th post and leave a comment to enter.

Some Math for You

As of right now 84 people have read my 100th post.  Only 8 people have commented.  I am one of those commenters.  My wife is another commenter.  Neither of us is eligible to win.  That means that 6 people out of the 80+ readers of that post have entered to win a prize.  That is a ridiculously low number.

Just so I'm clear, there are no catches.  If you have a google account (and who doesn't at this point), all you have to do is click the Join This Blog button.  Then all you have to do is head back to my 100th Post and comment on it.  You can even insult me and tell me how bad my blog is if you'd like.  I won't hold it against you.  You could still win the free cupcakes.

Is everyone just afraid to enter because they don't think they'll win?  Well as of right now the odds are in your favor.  If you joined my site and left a comment you'd have a 1 in 17 shot at some free swag.

Do people secretly hate cupcakes, and I didn't know about it?  If you hate cupcakes, I have to ask what is wrong with you?  Actually I won't judge, but I'm sure you know someone who loves them and will gladly accept your gift.  Imagine if you upset your husband or wife.  You could literally buy back his or her affection with sugary sweets, and you wouldn't even have to spend a dime.  With all the flavor combos, you could even show a little thoughtfulness which is all a person really wants in a gift.

To save you time, you can go to the 100th Post and just type "Cupcakes!" in the comments.  Or just "Cakes" if you want.  Or "Cups" is even shorter.  You could even just say "Hi" in the comment section.

All my out of the region readers, I'm going to get something of equally awesome value for you.  Don't let that hold you back.

I find it odd that I'm begging people to enter to win something for free, so I'll just stop now.

Twitter Machine Tuesday

The weather is finally changing where we live, so we can now officially welcome the fall.  It isn't really official until we get our first fall rain which happened last night/today.  Fall has always been my favorite season for a number of reasons.  Sweater weather.  Fall storms.  Leaves changing.  Pumpkins!  Great food.  Count Chocula cereal.  Fun-size candy.  Pie season.  And most importantly my birthday and Halloween at the end of October.

At least it was most important until November of last year.  From that point forward, the girls birthday trumps all.  Between that and seeing the girls in Halloween costumes, fall just got a lot more awesome.  And I have this crazy feeling that the girls will take after their mom and dad and love the fall too.

Before all the birds fly south for winter, here is this week's Twitter Machine:

-Are midgets required to use a car seat?
-Apple made an announcement and people aren't nearly as excited as normal. #rescueusstevejobs
-I'm still going to buy the shit out of an iPhone 4s.
-If the new iPhone had all the crap it is getting and was called a 5, people would be thrilled.
-Comparing people to Hitler is getting a little old. Yes, your boss passing you over for a promotion is just like Hitler killing all those Jews.
-We're almost done with Mad Men. An instance where all old episodes on Instant Queue leading us to watch new episodes on TV.
-I had Princess Bride on the other day. Ana was enthralled.
-Every snarky blog post ever written owes everything to Andy Rooney. Crotchety old men are the best.
-Arrested Development is coming back! And a movie too! In case you didn't know, I'm doing Gob's chicken dance right now.
-I've never understood the appeal of trampolines. So the only two outcomes are bouncing higher or getting horribly injured? #signmeup
-Mixed feelings about The Simpsons possibly not coming back. 23 years feels long enough, but it's hard to imagine life without.
-The Playboy Club got cancelled after two episodes. My reaction: They kept it that long?
-I'm kind of addicted to Person of Interest. It's the only new show that I'm watching this fall.
-That's the end of my TV recap for the week.
-Actually last TV thing, The Wonder Years is now on Instant Queue. And Erin and I have something to watch after Mad Men.
-I love zombies as much as anyone. Well not as much as people attending zombie invasions all across the country.
-Not getting political or anything. Just want to know: What do the Occupy Wall Street people actually want?
-I want the two new books by the Chucks (Klosterman and Palahniuk) so badly. Birthdays right around the corner.
-Grace was trying to climb into the tub this morning. These kids love bath time.
-I hate people that use the term Rock-tober. Lame and stupid.
-Ketchup and mustard in the same bottle really is genius. Why hasn't that happened? #kramericaindustries
-The girls love pasta. To the point that they ignore every other food we give them if there is pasta on their tray.
-I always prefer pie, but I do love cupcakes.

Speaking of cupcakes, have you entered into my 100th Post Contest yet?  I'm giving away a gift card to the always delicious Icing on the Cupcake.  You can get any number of specialty cupcakes.  My personal favorites are PB and J and Pucker Up.  Go and leave a comment, and you could be the lucky winner.

New Parent Money Savers

In less than a month, my twin girls will be celebrating their first birthday.  It is quite surreal.  It is even more surreal when I write it or say it.  A whole year.

I'd be a horrible parent if I didn't learn a few things about raising kids over these last 11 months.  So I'm here to give a few tips and pointers on how new parents (even ones with multiples) can save a little money in the first year.

-Don't buy any toys.  Seriously.  In fact you may as well return just about every toy you're given.  For the first couple of months, they aren't going to care about all the toys anyways.  Just make faces and weird noises, and they'll be entertained for hours.  When they do start noticing toys, they'll probably gravitate to one or two things and ignore everything else.  As they get older all you really need is some plastic food storage (Tupperware, Ziploc or Glad or whatever you already had lying around) and wooden spoons.  It amazes me all the toys they neglect in favor of kitchen items we already had.

-Make sure the stuff that makes noise has an off switch.  This is a more recent development in our house.  The girls were given these items that look like remote controls that announce shapes and numbers.  Only there is no off switch, so even sitting unplayed with doesn't stop it.  Seriously annoying.

-You will have favorite outfits that your kids will end up wearing entirely too much.  And that is totally okay.  If I got a dollar for every time my girls wore their various Giants outfits, I'd be a very rich man.  So return or exchange the clothes you know your kids won't wear for something they will.  You get to choose the clothes for this part of their lives.  Take full advantage.

-You should probably return/exchange a good portion of the newborn and 0-3 clothes you get.  People come to baby showers with the best intentions, and we all appreciate the gifts you give to us new parents.  We just don't need 1000 different newborn outfits or 0-3 for that matter.  We know that is the most cute and you get to see what you bought them very early on, but there is something to be said about patience and helping out 6-12 months down the road.

-Just like breastfeeding is cheaper (obviously), so is making your own baby food.  Do you know what baby food is?  Strained and pureed regular food.  How can you not make that yourself for much cheaper?  I'm not even trying to promote being a crunchy parent.  It's all about fiscal responsibility.

-You're going to eat out less.  This may just be exclusive to a parent with twins, but you aren't going to really be able to go out to eat as much.  Enjoy your time at home and the little bit of extra cash in your bank account as a result.

What other money saving tips do you have as a new or experienced parent?  Share in the comments.

Have you entered the Icing on the Cupcake giveaway in honor of my 100th post yet?  All you have to do is comment on post number 100 for an entry and click on that little Join This Blog button on my main page for a second entry.  Who doesn't want free swag?  Especially this free swag.

100!

This is my 100th post!

I know it is quite the accomplishment.  Actually it isn't an accomplishment at all.  It literally means I've sat down at my laptop 100 different times to write something that may or may not get read by anyone but me and my wife.  When you think of it that way, it's pretty sad.

Think of all I could have accomplished in the time I spent thinking about, planning and writing my blog:
-Learned an instrument
-Trained for another marathon
-Read more books
-Start a fight club
-Watch Lost over again
-Written 50 really excellent posts instead of 100 mediocre ones
-Solve the budget problem
-Take over the world

All would have been a better use of my time.  But here I stand (or more accurately sit), writing my 100th post.

I mentioned to Erin that I was approaching 100 posts, and that I was going to write something about my 100th post.  I told her that I thought it was meta and funny (any time I use the term "meta" she looks at me like I have no idea what I'm talking about).  She insulted me and told me it was lame.  I actually write the blog and don't care if she insults me, so I win.  She immediately asked me what I would be giving away.

This caught me off guard for three reasons:
1.  I don't like the idea of trying to buy readers.  I know that it is more about rewarding your loyal readers, but there always seems to be a component of asking your readers to spread the word on your blog in order to win swag.  I want people to spread the word on my blog because they dig it not because they'll get a gift card or something like that.

2.  I don't like spending money.  Isn't that why people write blogs?  It is a free form of entertainment and therapy.  There is no overhead.  I can just pop on my computer at any given time and post something.  I don't have to charge anyone as a result, so they can enjoy my vent for the low, low cost of $0.00 per month.  Whether I actually write something good or it is my normal mediocrity, you can enjoy (or despise) it for free.  Not saying you get what you pay for with my blog...

3.  I wouldn't even know what to give away or how I'd do it.  There are businesses that I would gladly pimp out simply because I am a happy and loyal customer.  More often than not though I'd promote something local.  This of course is a problem in the blogging world because every blogger has readers in other parts of the country.  I don't want to punish someone because they live far away from me.

But I still wanted to reward my readers for being loyal and (hopefully) liking my blog.  So I decided to do a giveaway anyway.  Since I frequent the joint and have posted pictures from there a number of times, I'll be giving away a $20 gift card to Icing on the Cupcake.  I love that place.  They didn't pay me to say this, and they wouldn't have to because it is just that great.  I realize this doesn't help my readers in other parts of the country.  If you're not in the Sacramento area and just so happen to win, we'll figure out some other method of reward.

So here's how you enter:
-Start following my blog publicly and that will earn you an entry. I know I have readers that check me out through their Google Reader accounts, and I appreciate that.  I would like to see who some of you are though.  For those of you that already follow me publicly, congratulations you have already earned an entry.
-Leave a comment on this post, and you'll get an entry.  It doesn't need any substance to it.  Just typing "Enter me into your contest" is acceptable.  Or if you want to tell me how much you love me to stroke my ego, that works too (you won't get an extra entry, but I do appreciate it).

That's it.  That's all you have to do.  Easy as cupcakes (because pie really isn't all that easy).  Just enter by next Monday, October 10th.  I'll use random.org to pick the winner and announce it on next week's Twitter Machine Tuesday post.

Thanks for reading.  Thanks for entering.  Good luck.