Saturday, January 21, 2012

Thankful for Girls

I was reading this blog post the other day about the clothing options for little girls.  Not that Janelle needs me promoting her blog what with my 33 readers, but damnit she is awesome.  She often writes exactly what I've been thinking.  And more often than not it is put more eloquently than I can ever hope to write.

But, as per usual, I digress.

I was reading the comments on this particular post.  There were a lot I agreed with, and there were quite a few I didn't.  But there were multiple commenters that went out of their way to point out how thankful they were to have boys.

Don't get me wrong.  I'd love to have a son.  I think it would so cool to have a little boy because it can be a totally different experience.  I would love any sons I have as much as my daughters.

Since I've cleared that up, can I just say how ridiculous I found the supposed logic of these commenters?

You're thankful that you have boys because then you don't have to dress your daughter in clothing that you don't like?

Apparently you dodged a pretty major bullet there.  Because we all know that being the parent of a daughter means dressing your kid a certain way.  We all know you'd be beholden to put your kid in DIVA wear or overly sexualize her at an early age, right?  Because apparently having a son is the equivalent of a biological hall pass and having a daughter is detention. 

Either way you're the parent, and you get to make decisions on what your daughter wears when she isn't really old enough to make them herself.  Funny thing is you also get to shape and mold this little human, so she'll (hopefully) respect herself enough to decide to wear appropriate clothing even when she has a choice.

I fear the bad influence of others that don't have my daughters' best interest in mind, but I'd fear those people grabbing hold of my sons too.  I fear them succumbing to peer pressure and doing things they may not agree with simply to impress others.  I also know that my wife and I are the biggest influences in their lives, and I hope that by the time they are faced with these people that are out to ruin or take advantage them that we have taught them their worth.

But I don't fear being their dad, and I don't feel a special burden just because they're girls.  I'm thankful for having girls.  I'm thankful that they exist at all.  And I would never wish they were anyone besides who they are.


Becoming Supermommy said...

I love this.

Screw those people. Daughters are awesome. It's the parents who suck. And the exact same applies to boys.

Since my girls were born, I've felt that babies are sort of inherently perfect, and everything that happens that makes them not so is pretty much my fault as their parent. I don't see how that would be any different with a boy. Or any easier.

I would also love to have a boy. But if I don't, I won't feel cheated or anything. I can do all my girl gender-normative things with my girls, but I also do my boy gender-normative things. Like building stuff, and playing with bugs, and falling out of trees.

Well... we'll TRY to stay up the tree...

renegademothering said...

This was a great post.

And not just because you mentioned me. (Though admittedly, that was a high point.) Okay seriously, thank you, Brandon, for the compliments and THANK YOU for saying my thoughts on this particular subject (when it wasn't perhaps appropriate for me to say so myself, on my own blog).

Personally, I don't feel at all beholden to the slut-girl-clothes makers simply because they make them and, um, I have a girl. Or two, to be exact. In fact, I feel totally and completely empowered in this particular department, considering I have the money, the choice, and a brain. Really, thanks for saying this.

Your sarcasm slaughtered me in the "dodging a pretty major bullet" comment. I bellowed.

erin - mutterings of eringirl said...

We are blessed to have girls and we will raise them to be balanced young women.

Beautiful post my love.

Vanessa Michele said...

Hi Brandon. I'm coming over from Renegade Mothering, and I don't normally comment (though I read a lot of blogs) because I'm a little shy, but I agree with you 200%. I have two girls (ages 4 and 8 months) and the anti-girl comments seriously filled me with rage. Shouldn't we, as conscientious parents, be glad that we have girls, because we have sense enough to not objectify them and to raise strong women? I'm glad I have girls.

Brandon - Daddy Dialogues said...

@Vanessa - Thanks for reading. I just couldn't comprehend how people think that was a logical response to Janelle's blog. "So thankful I have boys" reads as "I think boys are easier and I really don't want to do the work that is expected of a parent."

I'd like to think that I'm helping to contribute to more strong women and changing those misconceptions. Of course I welcome the challenge of parenting (which btw is a challenge no matter the sex of your child).