For anyone who is a new reader to my blog, the one post that I do every week without fail is my Twitter Machine. I'm not really all that invested into the internet like so many other bloggers. I know that I could gain more readers if I opened up a Twitter Machine account. The thing is: I just don't care.
So instead I put all my 140-character missives here. Once per week I post them all to my blog. They aren't always timely because I write them throughout the week, and I'm far too lazy to do any sort of editing. They also can be offensive because I don't care.
They are rarely about my girls because I have a lot random shit that flows through my brain that has nothing to do with them. I am more than just a dad after all.
More often than not they are pop culture inspired because that is the only context where me and culture would ever appear in the same sentence. Well that and bacteria cultures. And maybe Culture Club if I'm in an especially 80s mood.
So as I do every Tuesday, I present the Twitter Machine:
-That little 10-year-old hardcore singer from Australia kicks ass. Now we just need an 8-year-old Gangsta Rapper.
-Joe Paterno's cause of death: Shame...and maybe old age
-Heidi Klum & Seal getting a divorce. Lame asses and morning zoo hosts prepare your "Now I have a chance with her" lines.
-This may not be scientific, but Newt and Mitt just don't sound like presidential names.
-They do however sound like snacks that little English children would ask for.
-I bet you're imagining a little British kid saying: I'd like a newt with my spot'a tea, mum. Or maybe a mitt, guvna.
-Etta James died...at last #toosoon
-There is a video game based on The Room. Everyone that loves terrible movies is so excited right now.
-Go play it. It contains actual movie dialouge. And if you haven't seen the movie: #YOU'RETEARINGMEAPARTLISA!
-I have no opinion on the Oscar nominations. May have something to do with not seeing any movies this past year.
-I'm rooting for Brad Pitt in every category #justcuz
-The way the Niners lost is just crushing. Kyle Williams be damned!
-Then the whole "There are 52 players on the team. One guy can't lose it" arguments start up. Like they know so much more.
-You can't play up how important turnovers are in a close match-up and then downplay Williams' mistakes
-In happier news, Tim Lincecum is locked in for a set dollar amount. Of course the years were already determined. #sfgiants
-Less than two months away from The Hunger Games hits the big screen #bringiton
-I can't believe how much snot these kids can produce. It's like a self-renewing substance. If we could only harness it.
-Since I won't be watching the Super Bowl, this might be a good day to take snowboard lessons and knock out one of my #30by30
-My wife is doing 30 blogs before she turns 30 and wrote about Game 2 of the 2010 World Series. You should read it. #sfgiants
-Erin didn't know that Frank's Red Hot is what comes on chicken wings. Now that she does, she is obsessed.
-I cannot wait for Casa de Mi Padre. Will Ferrell in a telenovela movie. Who comes up with this?
-Ana was dragging around Erin's bear the other morning. It was adorable. Also she was giving off an Other vibe #LOST.
I'll leave you with the picture of Ana and the bear. Happy Tuesday everyone!